Considering my sister is one of the funniest people I know, it should not be surprising that one conversation with her warrants two separate "Conversations with Jessie." Sometimes, I think that maybe I am the only one who thinks these are funny...then again...sometimes I think you might be jealous that she is not your sister.
Jessie: How was work today?
Heather: Oh fine. Busy.
Jessie: Do you want to know what does not taste good?
Heather: Um....
Jessie: Rotten Kalamata olives.
Heather: I can imagine.
Jessie: It was like I was eating them....but in reverse.
Heather: Well, thank you for the warning.
Jessie: Just an FYI.
This next one, I would like to preface with the fact that my sister is a very, very good baker. However, I think that this next little moment of banter is due to her lack of employment and boredom.
Heather: What did you do today?
Jessie: Today, I made Red Velvet cupcakes...sans the red.
Heather: Oh...kay. How is that?
Jessie: Well, we didn't have any red food coloring.
Heather: But the name of the cake is Red Velvet cake.
Jessie: I would have been able to make a Blue Velvet cupcakes...but I thought that would be gross.
Heather: Again, I don't see the point of making a Red Velvet cake without the main ingredient!
Jessie: Oh yeah, I didn't have any eggs either.
5.14.2007
5.07.2007
Feeding My Impatience
There is now a sign up that is counting down the days until the fair comes to town. I feel like it is not really helping, rather taunting me. The other day as we drove by Grant and I discussed my strange addiction to this summertime event.
"Still 49 days! I can't handle it."
"I know honey."
"Love the fair. I am a big fan...and you know, I really don't even know why."
"Because it is kinda dirty and sad."
"It really is."
"Still 49 days! I can't handle it."
"I know honey."
"Love the fair. I am a big fan...and you know, I really don't even know why."
"Because it is kinda dirty and sad."
"It really is."
5.04.2007
Like drinking wine from a mug.
The other night, Farewell Typewriter played at the Red Devil Lounge in San Francisco. It was a really cool venue; I felt like I was at a Halloween party!
There were several interesting characters there for the show. One in particular was a man who I think was doing Yoga? This was the same guy who came over to the merch table while I was selling Farewell Typewriter CDs and put himself on the other band's mailing list. It is too bad he was not a fan of Farewell Typewriter but I am not sure what kind of mail he expected to get considering his email address consisted of a few "letters," squiggly lines and happy faces. Right...
The person who I assume was the owner or manager of the club had his dog there. The dog wandered around randomly from the behind the bar and into the crowd several times throughout the night. Oddly enough, the dog did put himself on the Farewell Typewriter mailing list. I guess he liked what he heard.
But I think my favorite was the girl who was drinking Bud Light from a can...with a straw! Whatever gets the job done I suppose.
There were several interesting characters there for the show. One in particular was a man who I think was doing Yoga? This was the same guy who came over to the merch table while I was selling Farewell Typewriter CDs and put himself on the other band's mailing list. It is too bad he was not a fan of Farewell Typewriter but I am not sure what kind of mail he expected to get considering his email address consisted of a few "letters," squiggly lines and happy faces. Right...
The person who I assume was the owner or manager of the club had his dog there. The dog wandered around randomly from the behind the bar and into the crowd several times throughout the night. Oddly enough, the dog did put himself on the Farewell Typewriter mailing list. I guess he liked what he heard.
But I think my favorite was the girl who was drinking Bud Light from a can...with a straw! Whatever gets the job done I suppose.
5.01.2007
Fremont's Finest
Recently, Fremont opened a Hooters to which I have two words, Thank God. Nothing says class like a euphemism for breasts! I walked by it today during a lunch time stroll and outside was a waitress who I assume was taking her break. She was wearing the traditional bathing suit and opaque dance tights that made her legs look like flawless Barbie doll legs, or as Hooters would describe her attire as her "uniform" which consists of "shorts" and a "tank top."
Even more repulsive then the business men enjoying their lunch break at this fine dining establishment, was what was outside of the restaurant. As I walked by I quickly noticed a smell that surrounded Hooters in a disgusting fog which seemed to marry all the componets of this scene before me into one big, happy trashy family. The smell was not that of deep fried chicken wings, beer battered clam strips or the fake-n-bake skin of the waitresses. Rather, the smell could be described as none other than a toilet. That's right, a sewer drain over flowed outside the resturant and was cascading down the grass, sidewalk and gutter. As I walked by, gagging and at a very hurried pace at this point, I realized that the place was full, which means that the patrons literally got out of thir cars in the parking lot and looked at one another with snarlled noses and at least one member of the group said, "It smells like poo out here." But the poo did not deter them and they still chose to eat there. Ah, the power that is Hooters. Classic.
Even more repulsive then the business men enjoying their lunch break at this fine dining establishment, was what was outside of the restaurant. As I walked by I quickly noticed a smell that surrounded Hooters in a disgusting fog which seemed to marry all the componets of this scene before me into one big, happy trashy family. The smell was not that of deep fried chicken wings, beer battered clam strips or the fake-n-bake skin of the waitresses. Rather, the smell could be described as none other than a toilet. That's right, a sewer drain over flowed outside the resturant and was cascading down the grass, sidewalk and gutter. As I walked by, gagging and at a very hurried pace at this point, I realized that the place was full, which means that the patrons literally got out of thir cars in the parking lot and looked at one another with snarlled noses and at least one member of the group said, "It smells like poo out here." But the poo did not deter them and they still chose to eat there. Ah, the power that is Hooters. Classic.
4.26.2007
Dirty birds...
Grant's response to the previous post:
"You think they are expectant parents?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I can't hear the baby birds yet."
"No. I mean, Maude is pregnant?"
"Well, no...I mean...birds do not really get..I mean, they just...What else would two birds be doing in a birdhouse besides hatching eggs?"
"I don't know. I thought that maybe they were just shacking up."
"Oh no. They are good Christian birds."
"You think they are expectant parents?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I can't hear the baby birds yet."
"No. I mean, Maude is pregnant?"
"Well, no...I mean...birds do not really get..I mean, they just...What else would two birds be doing in a birdhouse besides hatching eggs?"
"I don't know. I thought that maybe they were just shacking up."
"Oh no. They are good Christian birds."
4.24.2007
Feathered friends
My Grandpa made me a birdhouse that hangs outside my kitchen window. I hung it outside with the intention of it only being something cute to look at. I guess I never thought that the house which is intended for birds to live in would actually serve its purpose as real estate. One morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find that a couple of birds decided it was time to settle down and raise a family in a house in a safe neighborhood with a white picket fence. I mean that quite literally; look at the picture. Spike and Maude,(that is what I named them)have been really great expectant parents. It has been fun to watch them each day.
Today, while I was making dinner, Spike was bringing Maude a little dinner of her own. A big, fat, still alive, still writhing caterpillar stuck betwixt Spike's tiny beak. Nature in my own backyard...Disgusting.
Today, while I was making dinner, Spike was bringing Maude a little dinner of her own. A big, fat, still alive, still writhing caterpillar stuck betwixt Spike's tiny beak. Nature in my own backyard...Disgusting.
4.19.2007
Conversations with Jessie
Dinner had ended and Jessie requested the radio be on the local college station so she could sing along to the lastest "jams" that all the kids are listening to these days. Lucky for us, the singing was coupled with dancing. Granted, she looked ridiculous but I have to give her credit considering she really has had no formal training, that girl can move.
Heather: You are looking good.
Jessie: I know it.
Heather: How did you learn to dance like that?
Jessie: What do you think I do when I am home alone? I dance!
Heather: In front of the mirror...don't deny it.
Jessie: Oh yeah, fully. Um, just dancing around without looking? Well that would just be ridiculous. I need to be able to critic myself. Hello.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall....
Heather: You are looking good.
Jessie: I know it.
Heather: How did you learn to dance like that?
Jessie: What do you think I do when I am home alone? I dance!
Heather: In front of the mirror...don't deny it.
Jessie: Oh yeah, fully. Um, just dancing around without looking? Well that would just be ridiculous. I need to be able to critic myself. Hello.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall....
4.16.2007
F is for fun!
Another great weekend with my friends has come and gone. It started with an awesome rock and roll show featuring Farewell Typewriter and Shayna and the Bulldog. The house was rocked and beverages were consumed.
Saturday night we decided to take it down a notch. We had a nice dinner and retired to the house for a family fun game of Scattergories and the hilarity ensued.
On the letter "O" one of the categories was "Bad habits." To which Ryan tried to earn double points for "Ogling octogenarians." This raised debate as we discussed the possibility that the ogler them self could in fact be an octogenarian, making the act seem slightly less offensive. Regardless, no points were earned as Brittaney also had ogling as her answer, canceling each other out.
Another veto: Things you find at a football game. The letter was "A" and Brittaney's answer, accents. This was vetoed due to the fact that it was not specific enough despite her gripping argument, "What, someone could be at a football game and have an accent!" This answer did lead into a very interesting conversation by the language police, Grant and Toni, as they debated the difference between an "accent" and a "dialect." As interesting as the whole thing was, Brittaney ended the discussion by saying, "Ok, this conversation is getting to the point where I am going to shoot myself."
We also had Ryan and/or a law student playing the game with us. When one of the categories was "items you save up to buy" he begged the question, "Now, does this category imply that it is looking for the item that you actually purchase, or the 'items' you are saving to purchase the item, such as money." Such an attorney.
One of the most impressive moments of the game was with the letter "W." The category was "things you find in Las Vegas." Several variations of "hookers" were used, such as "woman of the night," "walkers of the night" and "whores." All variations were different and accepted for a point. Brittaney's answer: Wayne Newton.
In conclusion, nothing says good times like a little adult humor when it came to categories such as "body parts," "things that are round" and "things that are sticky." Use your imagination. Just saying.
Saturday night we decided to take it down a notch. We had a nice dinner and retired to the house for a family fun game of Scattergories and the hilarity ensued.
On the letter "O" one of the categories was "Bad habits." To which Ryan tried to earn double points for "Ogling octogenarians." This raised debate as we discussed the possibility that the ogler them self could in fact be an octogenarian, making the act seem slightly less offensive. Regardless, no points were earned as Brittaney also had ogling as her answer, canceling each other out.
Another veto: Things you find at a football game. The letter was "A" and Brittaney's answer, accents. This was vetoed due to the fact that it was not specific enough despite her gripping argument, "What, someone could be at a football game and have an accent!" This answer did lead into a very interesting conversation by the language police, Grant and Toni, as they debated the difference between an "accent" and a "dialect." As interesting as the whole thing was, Brittaney ended the discussion by saying, "Ok, this conversation is getting to the point where I am going to shoot myself."
We also had Ryan and/or a law student playing the game with us. When one of the categories was "items you save up to buy" he begged the question, "Now, does this category imply that it is looking for the item that you actually purchase, or the 'items' you are saving to purchase the item, such as money." Such an attorney.
One of the most impressive moments of the game was with the letter "W." The category was "things you find in Las Vegas." Several variations of "hookers" were used, such as "woman of the night," "walkers of the night" and "whores." All variations were different and accepted for a point. Brittaney's answer: Wayne Newton.
In conclusion, nothing says good times like a little adult humor when it came to categories such as "body parts," "things that are round" and "things that are sticky." Use your imagination. Just saying.
3.28.2007
Conversations with Jessie
At dinner, we were discussing at what age our parents allowed us to reach certain milestones as growing young girls. One thing, for example, ear piercing. For me it was 12, for Jessie, 10...whatever, no bitterness here. Make-up came up as well. I think the first time I got to wear make-up was to 6th grade promotion and it was tinted lip gloss. Junior High was the first time that we both started experimenting with all the wonder that is make-up. Oh, the make-up techniques of a 13 year old in the early 90's. The color combinations we concocted on our face were criminal.
Heather: When did you start wearing make-up?
Jessie: Junior High. I think Mom let me wear, you know, powder and clear lip gloss at first. But then I started to use your make-up and it was all over. I think at that point she didn't really care. She would just look at me and say, "Fine. Whatever. But you look like a damn fool."
Heather: I really doubt Mom said you looked like a damn fool.
Jessie: Yeah well, she was thinking it.
Heather: When did you start wearing make-up?
Jessie: Junior High. I think Mom let me wear, you know, powder and clear lip gloss at first. But then I started to use your make-up and it was all over. I think at that point she didn't really care. She would just look at me and say, "Fine. Whatever. But you look like a damn fool."
Heather: I really doubt Mom said you looked like a damn fool.
Jessie: Yeah well, she was thinking it.
3.24.2007
Could be worse I suppose.
Since the day we moved into our house, the downstairs bathroom had a mysterious and unexplainable scent of vanilla. I have searched for the producer of the smell that haunts the room to no avail. I assumed it would dissipate as the moths went on. This is not the case and instead I have just gotten used to it. In fact, about a month ago, my sister used the bathroom and when she came out she asked me, "Did you guys ever figure out why that bathroom smells like vanilla?"
Tis' a mystery indeed.
The plot thickened the other morning when it was not vanilla, rather toasted marshmallows that I could smell. Now it is just messing with us.
Tis' a mystery indeed.
The plot thickened the other morning when it was not vanilla, rather toasted marshmallows that I could smell. Now it is just messing with us.
3.20.2007
I only have one request
Even if you hate the very ground that American Idol walks on, you have to watch it for one reason and one reason only. Watch it only to see each contestant stand next to Ryan Seacrest and gaze in wonderment at the fact that they all literally look like giants next to him. GIANTS! As in "fee-fi-fo-fum" giants. I swear to God, I am not exaggerating. He looks like he is the incredible shrinking man. Especially next to that Jordan girl; her Dad is a football player and it i looks like she could step on Mr. Seacrest. It is worth a moment, I'm telling you.
3.18.2007
Confession...
I did something for the first time today. Today was the first time that I have vacuumed the cob webs from the corners of the ceiling and wall. Appalling, I know. And I admit, they no longer fell in the "web" category. Cob business parks would probably be a better description.
Cleaning and I have a very love-hate relationship. Part of me wants so badly to really care about having a house that is clean nearly 100% of the time. But the larger, albeit lazier, part of me seriously would rather be doing something else. I would never call my house dirty, mostly thanks to Grant, who cannot leave the kitchen after dinner until it is clean. Messy at times would be a better word to describe it. There are already so many tasks that I have to do constantly. For example, as previously mentioned, the kitchen. I cook a lot. I also tend to use every dish, bowl, pot and pan I own when I make a meal. If I want to cook again the next night, the kitchen has to be clean. Then we have the laundry. How two people can generate enough laundry to warrant washing several loads on a weekly basis is beyond me. I am still not convinced that there is not a boarder living discreetly in our guest room who plays dress-up while I am at work.
Laundry and basic kitchen cleaning is time consuming in and of itself. By the time it is all done, sometimes I just want to moved the pile of papers off the couch and on to the floor, watch some TV and enjoy a glass of wine. (It should be noted here that this pile of papers that I speak of was moved to the couch after being on the kitchen counter. I can't cook dinner with a pile of paper on the counter!)
The problem I struggle with is that I do love the look and feel of a freshly cleaned house. When I do go all out and really clean up, it is usually sparked by a comment like this to my husband, "Hey, we should have a party. I need to clean the house again." And to the people of the world who are able to keep a tidy house all the time, I am envious. Honestly though, I can handle a little mess if it means that I am a happier person. There will always be time to clean up, but if the world is going to end tomorrow, wouldn't you rather want to go out knowing that you spent your time doing what you wanted instead of making sure you had a clean house that only you would see anyway? I would...and the spiders thank me for that.
Cleaning and I have a very love-hate relationship. Part of me wants so badly to really care about having a house that is clean nearly 100% of the time. But the larger, albeit lazier, part of me seriously would rather be doing something else. I would never call my house dirty, mostly thanks to Grant, who cannot leave the kitchen after dinner until it is clean. Messy at times would be a better word to describe it. There are already so many tasks that I have to do constantly. For example, as previously mentioned, the kitchen. I cook a lot. I also tend to use every dish, bowl, pot and pan I own when I make a meal. If I want to cook again the next night, the kitchen has to be clean. Then we have the laundry. How two people can generate enough laundry to warrant washing several loads on a weekly basis is beyond me. I am still not convinced that there is not a boarder living discreetly in our guest room who plays dress-up while I am at work.
Laundry and basic kitchen cleaning is time consuming in and of itself. By the time it is all done, sometimes I just want to moved the pile of papers off the couch and on to the floor, watch some TV and enjoy a glass of wine. (It should be noted here that this pile of papers that I speak of was moved to the couch after being on the kitchen counter. I can't cook dinner with a pile of paper on the counter!)
The problem I struggle with is that I do love the look and feel of a freshly cleaned house. When I do go all out and really clean up, it is usually sparked by a comment like this to my husband, "Hey, we should have a party. I need to clean the house again." And to the people of the world who are able to keep a tidy house all the time, I am envious. Honestly though, I can handle a little mess if it means that I am a happier person. There will always be time to clean up, but if the world is going to end tomorrow, wouldn't you rather want to go out knowing that you spent your time doing what you wanted instead of making sure you had a clean house that only you would see anyway? I would...and the spiders thank me for that.
3.13.2007
Good Morning!
One of my favorite ways to start out my morning is to pay $3.03 per gallon to fill my 12 gallon tank. If you are like me and are unable to do the math in your head yourself, it was $39.00!!
I hate cars and the fact that they are so necessary. Maybe I could try to popularize blading again...
I hate cars and the fact that they are so necessary. Maybe I could try to popularize blading again...
3.11.2007
Son of a.....
We got a new oven. It is quite a sexy piece of machinery. As Grant and I gazed lovingly at the new member of our family, we were holding each other and thinking how lucky we were that this oven was actually ours to love and care for. Just when I thought I could not be happier, Grant looked at me and said, "Did you empty the drawer in the old oven?" (The pan that contains all the lids to my pots and pans)
It was about this time that I started swearing.
It was about this time that I started swearing.
3.06.2007
Conversations with Jessie
Call time: 3:40 pm on Tuesday
Heather: Hello?
Jessie: Hey. What are you doing right now?
Heather: Um...I'm working.
Jessie: Oh, right.
Heather: Why do you always ask me what I am doing when you call me between 9 and 5 on a Monday thru Friday? What do you expect me to be doing?
Jessie: I don't know. Maybe one of these times you will say you are milking a cow or something.
Silence....
Jessie: So, are you busy?
Heather: Hello?
Jessie: Hey. What are you doing right now?
Heather: Um...I'm working.
Jessie: Oh, right.
Heather: Why do you always ask me what I am doing when you call me between 9 and 5 on a Monday thru Friday? What do you expect me to be doing?
Jessie: I don't know. Maybe one of these times you will say you are milking a cow or something.
Silence....
Jessie: So, are you busy?
2.27.2007
Open wide.
At a recent trip to the dentist, I was thrilled to find out that all 5 of my oldest fillings would need to be replaced making me realize that parents should never give their children a hard time about the cavities they have to pay for since, apparently, you have to pay for them all over again.
I think it is pretty fair to say that no matter what you are getting done, the dentist is an overall unpleasant experience but I have decided that nothing is more demeaning than someone else flossing your teeth for you. On our recent trip to Oregon, I was reminded of the full-service only gas stations law in that state and Grant was having a very difficult time with it. As we would pull into a gas station he was utter things like, "What, do they think we are stupid?" and "Seriously, this is ridiculous" or "Um, hi, I can pump my own gas."
That is what I felt like as the hygienist was flossing me. I am not a child. When he was done he asked me, "Do you floss your teeth like that at home." To which my bloody gums responded, "Yes" because you and I both know you lie to your dentist about the frequency of your flossing habits. I said yes but what I felt like saying was, "No! No I do not floss my teeth like that! What the hell were you were trying to do? Saw my jaw in half!"
Then for the polish. What the hell is that? Did a bunch of dentists sit around a table and say to one another, "How can we make this experience more uncomfortable? I've got it, mix sand in the toothpaste!"
At the end of my appointment the hygienist handed me a wet-nap. I took the wet-nap and thought to myself, "Why that is odd, I do not recall eating any barbecued ribs at this appointment." In fact, the last time I checked, your hands are not usually involved in any type of dental work. I had no idea what to do with it, so I started to wipe my hands, then thought it must be for my face, but who puts a wipe on their face?
Honestly, the best part about the dentist is rescheduling knowing that you will not need to come back for another 6 months. I was robbed of that satisfaction as well as I will be back for two appointments to fix the wear and tear. Lucky me.
I think it is pretty fair to say that no matter what you are getting done, the dentist is an overall unpleasant experience but I have decided that nothing is more demeaning than someone else flossing your teeth for you. On our recent trip to Oregon, I was reminded of the full-service only gas stations law in that state and Grant was having a very difficult time with it. As we would pull into a gas station he was utter things like, "What, do they think we are stupid?" and "Seriously, this is ridiculous" or "Um, hi, I can pump my own gas."
That is what I felt like as the hygienist was flossing me. I am not a child. When he was done he asked me, "Do you floss your teeth like that at home." To which my bloody gums responded, "Yes" because you and I both know you lie to your dentist about the frequency of your flossing habits. I said yes but what I felt like saying was, "No! No I do not floss my teeth like that! What the hell were you were trying to do? Saw my jaw in half!"
Then for the polish. What the hell is that? Did a bunch of dentists sit around a table and say to one another, "How can we make this experience more uncomfortable? I've got it, mix sand in the toothpaste!"
At the end of my appointment the hygienist handed me a wet-nap. I took the wet-nap and thought to myself, "Why that is odd, I do not recall eating any barbecued ribs at this appointment." In fact, the last time I checked, your hands are not usually involved in any type of dental work. I had no idea what to do with it, so I started to wipe my hands, then thought it must be for my face, but who puts a wipe on their face?
Honestly, the best part about the dentist is rescheduling knowing that you will not need to come back for another 6 months. I was robbed of that satisfaction as well as I will be back for two appointments to fix the wear and tear. Lucky me.
2.21.2007
Converations with Jessie
Ode to Oregon
Mom, Dad, I don't think you know the full extent of this story so now might be a good time to close your eyes. Sorry for telling on you Jess:
The following are tips for how not to get caught by your parents if you are planning on taking a secret road trip: 1. Do not take pictures of funny road signs along the way. 2. Do not ask your mom to get the pictures developed for you but not to look at them.
Jessie: I drove to Oregon once. Remember that?
Heather: Oh yeah. Wait...I thought you only drove to Redding?
Jessie: Well Mom saw the pictures of the road signs we took along the way and we ran out of film in Redding so....
Heather: You are an idiot! You actually created your own evidence.
Jessie: Yeah. True story.
Heather: What did you even do in Oregon?
Jessie: We drove across the border into Ashland, ate a Subway sandwich and then drove home.
Heather: That's awesome.
Mom and Dad, you can open your eyes now.
Mom, Dad, I don't think you know the full extent of this story so now might be a good time to close your eyes. Sorry for telling on you Jess:
The following are tips for how not to get caught by your parents if you are planning on taking a secret road trip: 1. Do not take pictures of funny road signs along the way. 2. Do not ask your mom to get the pictures developed for you but not to look at them.
Jessie: I drove to Oregon once. Remember that?
Heather: Oh yeah. Wait...I thought you only drove to Redding?
Jessie: Well Mom saw the pictures of the road signs we took along the way and we ran out of film in Redding so....
Heather: You are an idiot! You actually created your own evidence.
Jessie: Yeah. True story.
Heather: What did you even do in Oregon?
Jessie: We drove across the border into Ashland, ate a Subway sandwich and then drove home.
Heather: That's awesome.
Mom and Dad, you can open your eyes now.
2.20.2007
Portland, Or
Grant and I took a little adventure this Presidents' day three-day to the great city of Portland, Oregon. The whole trip, in a way, started with a joke. Grant happened to notice that Ben Kweller, who I adore, was going to be playing in San Francisco on Monday, February 19th. I do enjoy a good show in the city but I am not as young as I used to be and Monday night? I would have to be to work early the next day, the show would be over late, etc...
"You know, he is playing in Portland on Saturday the 17th. We could go then."
Next thing we knew, we had a hotel room booked in another state, so we could go see a show on a Saturday because Monday night was just going to be too late. Perfect solution, drive a total of 20 hours there and back. That is not exhausting at all.
Regardless of what you think of our logic, it was a great time spent with my husband and stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something totally spur of the moment and in many ways, ridiculous.
As I watched Ben Kweller rock the freaking house down, I thought to myself, "Are we crazy for doing this?" Maybe we were but maybe someday, when our kids say to me "Mom, tell me a story from when you were a kid," like I remember doing so many times, I will be able to say that one time me and their Daddy took a crazy road trip all the way to Oregon just to see a concert and really just because we could. We spent too much money and we ate too much dessert, but it was one of the best times we ever had together.
"You know, he is playing in Portland on Saturday the 17th. We could go then."
Next thing we knew, we had a hotel room booked in another state, so we could go see a show on a Saturday because Monday night was just going to be too late. Perfect solution, drive a total of 20 hours there and back. That is not exhausting at all.
Regardless of what you think of our logic, it was a great time spent with my husband and stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something totally spur of the moment and in many ways, ridiculous.
As I watched Ben Kweller rock the freaking house down, I thought to myself, "Are we crazy for doing this?" Maybe we were but maybe someday, when our kids say to me "Mom, tell me a story from when you were a kid," like I remember doing so many times, I will be able to say that one time me and their Daddy took a crazy road trip all the way to Oregon just to see a concert and really just because we could. We spent too much money and we ate too much dessert, but it was one of the best times we ever had together.
2.12.2007
Best show on TV
I am really not normally a fan of action. I am not a violent person or one who enjoys watching that kind of thing. But there is something about 24 that I cannot get enough of. Maybe it is because the complete unrealistic plot lines make it almost believable. Maybe it is because Jack Bauer is a bad ass and can kill a man with his teeth. Or maybe it is because despite the seriousness of the subject matter, Grant and I always seem to have conversations like this one:
Scene: A nuclear bomb is found in an apartment building by none other than Jack Bauer and it will detonate without his steady hand and quick wit. He enlists the help of the very smart, yet very odd, Chloe at CTU to help disable it. He only has 3 minutes.
Grant: I love watching bomb dismantling scenes.
Heather: Why? Because they are so ridiculous?
Grant: Yeah. What, does she know how to dismantle every bomb? And it is always so ridiculous. 'OK, what you need to do is cut the 2nd and 3rd wire. That will open a box. In that box will be a picture of Johnny Carson. You need to trace around his face. But do not, I repeat do not touch his nose. Do you copy?
Heather: Yes, I copy. The box is open. Oh God! It is a picture of Jay Leno. Repeat! We have a picture of Jay Leno in the box!
Grant: Dammit! I must be looking at an old schematic!
Maybe you had to be there. Either way, nothing says good times and laughter like some explosions and a few Johnny Carson jokes!
Scene: A nuclear bomb is found in an apartment building by none other than Jack Bauer and it will detonate without his steady hand and quick wit. He enlists the help of the very smart, yet very odd, Chloe at CTU to help disable it. He only has 3 minutes.
Grant: I love watching bomb dismantling scenes.
Heather: Why? Because they are so ridiculous?
Grant: Yeah. What, does she know how to dismantle every bomb? And it is always so ridiculous. 'OK, what you need to do is cut the 2nd and 3rd wire. That will open a box. In that box will be a picture of Johnny Carson. You need to trace around his face. But do not, I repeat do not touch his nose. Do you copy?
Heather: Yes, I copy. The box is open. Oh God! It is a picture of Jay Leno. Repeat! We have a picture of Jay Leno in the box!
Grant: Dammit! I must be looking at an old schematic!
Maybe you had to be there. Either way, nothing says good times and laughter like some explosions and a few Johnny Carson jokes!
2.11.2007
I love my friends.
With the birth if my nieces, I knew that a lot of things about my life and the activities that I share with my friends would change. Things have changed and for that I am very, very thankful. I am so in love with those girls. But the truth is, we just can't do some of the same things we used to do. I mean, you just can't take babies to rock and roll shows.
Well....
See, the show was at a pizza parlor, not a bar. And it was their Uncle Joel's band so we thought we should all show up and surprise him. And surprise him we did and it was awesome.
Now just calm down because we were sitting all the way in the very back of the restaurant. Honestly, it just sounded like a loud radio was playing. And you know what, they better get used to it. Two of their uncles are rock stars for God's sake. The point is the babies were fine and it just goes to show that even though the day of their birth was a day that our lives changed forever, it was also a day that our lives changed for the better and no matter what we will still find ways to support each other and spend time with one another.
It was the babies idea anyway.
Well....
See, the show was at a pizza parlor, not a bar. And it was their Uncle Joel's band so we thought we should all show up and surprise him. And surprise him we did and it was awesome.
Now just calm down because we were sitting all the way in the very back of the restaurant. Honestly, it just sounded like a loud radio was playing. And you know what, they better get used to it. Two of their uncles are rock stars for God's sake. The point is the babies were fine and it just goes to show that even though the day of their birth was a day that our lives changed forever, it was also a day that our lives changed for the better and no matter what we will still find ways to support each other and spend time with one another.
It was the babies idea anyway.
2.08.2007
Conversations with Jessie
I came over to my parents house for dinner and upon my arrival my sister told me that we were going to the store. Reluctantly, I agreed to going. Agreed, only if she was willing to change. She was wearing a shirt with a hoodie...cute enough. However, coupled with a pair of dirty gray sweats, bright purple muppet-ish slippers, no makeup and who knows what was going on with her hair, for once, I actually looked better than her.
Heather: I don't want to go to the store.
Jessie: Yes you do.
Heather: I am not going to the store with you looking like that.
Jessie: What? Don't worry. I'll put on a bra.
Heather: I don't want to go to the store.
Jessie: Yes you do.
Heather: I am not going to the store with you looking like that.
Jessie: What? Don't worry. I'll put on a bra.
2.04.2007
My crazy mind.
Recently, Brittaney posted a dream she had that left her readers entertained, shocked and admittedly, slightly disturbed. It is worth a read.
Typically, I am of the belief that the only person who really cares about a dream is the person who actually dreamed it. Dreams only make sense while you are in the dream. When you start to explain it out loud you start saying things like this: "We were at the mall, except it wasn't the mall." Or, "I was at your house, but it wasn't your house but I knew it was your house, but you weren't there, but there was this other lady there, and like, she was you...blah, blah, blah."
The only person I really subject to hearing about my dreams to is my husband. He never remembers his dreams but in the morning I always ask him if he had any good dreams that night. This morning was no different. He then asked me if I had any. I did. Brittaney has inspired me to share, despite how I feel about sharing dreams with other. However, this one is kinda funny and I have a few readers who I think will find it entertaining:
I was at a restaurant giving a presentation for work and in the next room, John Vanderslice was performing. After my presentation I walked over to talk to him. When I went into the room, John was hiding in a loaf of bread. I said, "What are you doing." He poked his head out and said, "I'm hiding." The I told him that I wanted to go to his show on Wednesday at the Independent. That's all.
Grant said, "How was he hiding in a loaf of bread?"
"I don't know, like this."
"That's awesome."
Typically, I am of the belief that the only person who really cares about a dream is the person who actually dreamed it. Dreams only make sense while you are in the dream. When you start to explain it out loud you start saying things like this: "We were at the mall, except it wasn't the mall." Or, "I was at your house, but it wasn't your house but I knew it was your house, but you weren't there, but there was this other lady there, and like, she was you...blah, blah, blah."
The only person I really subject to hearing about my dreams to is my husband. He never remembers his dreams but in the morning I always ask him if he had any good dreams that night. This morning was no different. He then asked me if I had any. I did. Brittaney has inspired me to share, despite how I feel about sharing dreams with other. However, this one is kinda funny and I have a few readers who I think will find it entertaining:
I was at a restaurant giving a presentation for work and in the next room, John Vanderslice was performing. After my presentation I walked over to talk to him. When I went into the room, John was hiding in a loaf of bread. I said, "What are you doing." He poked his head out and said, "I'm hiding." The I told him that I wanted to go to his show on Wednesday at the Independent. That's all.
Grant said, "How was he hiding in a loaf of bread?"
"I don't know, like this."
"That's awesome."
1.30.2007
So how was your day?
All I wanted to do was wear my pearls to work today. I don't know, I was feeling fancy I guess. Twenty minutes before I needed to leave (which is usually my coffee and couple minutes of a morning news program time) I went go to put the pearls on. Except that they are not there. So my last twenty minutes before heading to work were spent looking for the missing pearls.
I hate when I lose things. I mean, I can't think of anyone who enjoys losing their valuables but when I lose things like that I tend to panic and obsess about it until I am ill. My husband is a very patient man.
So I leave for work, thinking only about the pearls that I must have thrown away or accidentally donated to charity. I mean, I was not able to locate them in twenty minutes so the only logical explanation is they are gone forever.
Then I was almost hit by a bus. Excellent.
The work day seemed to go ok. Surprisingly, nothing terrible happened. Nothing seemed to be missing. This is shocking to me considering at this point I am pretty sure that the pearls are actually out to get me and intended to ruin my day. But before it would be time to search for the missing necklace again, I would be going to yoga. Calm, relaxing yoga. So I drive from home to pick up my mom, then on to class. As we pull into the parking lot of class I realize, I do not have my yoga mat. Ok, now I am about to drive myself into a bus. What the hell.
Now I am even more determined to find the pearls that I have convinced myself are living in a landfill somewhere. When I am trying to find something that I have lost, I am truly in rare form. If you are ever around I would recommend protecting your face and to watch for flying objects. I seem to turn into...well, I honestly don't know if it is Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Whoever the psycho one is.
No luck. I went through my purses, jewelry boxes, backpacks, cabinets and attempted to move furniture. I even tried to conjure the spirit of my great-grandmother, may she rest in peace, to tell me where they were.
By the time Grant came home, I was too exhausted to think straight. He went through a list of places I had already looked two and then three times. And just about as quickly as he said that he was sure it was not donated and would eventually turn up, I heard him say, "Honey. it is right here." Here was on the floor between the wall and dresser with just the little gold clasp poking out. This was about the time I broke down. Grant just hugged me and asked, "Are you just glad that you found your pearls?" To which I responded between sniffles, "I was almost hit by a bus today." Honestly, at that point, I am not sure if I was speaking literally or metaphorically.
I hate when I lose things. I mean, I can't think of anyone who enjoys losing their valuables but when I lose things like that I tend to panic and obsess about it until I am ill. My husband is a very patient man.
So I leave for work, thinking only about the pearls that I must have thrown away or accidentally donated to charity. I mean, I was not able to locate them in twenty minutes so the only logical explanation is they are gone forever.
Then I was almost hit by a bus. Excellent.
The work day seemed to go ok. Surprisingly, nothing terrible happened. Nothing seemed to be missing. This is shocking to me considering at this point I am pretty sure that the pearls are actually out to get me and intended to ruin my day. But before it would be time to search for the missing necklace again, I would be going to yoga. Calm, relaxing yoga. So I drive from home to pick up my mom, then on to class. As we pull into the parking lot of class I realize, I do not have my yoga mat. Ok, now I am about to drive myself into a bus. What the hell.
Now I am even more determined to find the pearls that I have convinced myself are living in a landfill somewhere. When I am trying to find something that I have lost, I am truly in rare form. If you are ever around I would recommend protecting your face and to watch for flying objects. I seem to turn into...well, I honestly don't know if it is Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Whoever the psycho one is.
No luck. I went through my purses, jewelry boxes, backpacks, cabinets and attempted to move furniture. I even tried to conjure the spirit of my great-grandmother, may she rest in peace, to tell me where they were.
By the time Grant came home, I was too exhausted to think straight. He went through a list of places I had already looked two and then three times. And just about as quickly as he said that he was sure it was not donated and would eventually turn up, I heard him say, "Honey. it is right here." Here was on the floor between the wall and dresser with just the little gold clasp poking out. This was about the time I broke down. Grant just hugged me and asked, "Are you just glad that you found your pearls?" To which I responded between sniffles, "I was almost hit by a bus today." Honestly, at that point, I am not sure if I was speaking literally or metaphorically.
1.25.2007
It would mean having to live in my brother-in-law's attic....
I am watching Full House and it is the one where Uncle Jesse gets a record deal and Jesse and the Rippers are going to go on tour but at the same time Rebecca finds out she is going to have a baby and she just doesn't know how she is going to tell him. Getting a record deal would be the chance of a lifetime for Jesse and the Rippers. I mean, they had always planned on starting a family but not for a couple of years! And before you know it, the entire family knows about the baby. Everyone but Jesse that is. And that little Michelle just has the hardest time keeping a secret! Oh, the conflict! But when she tells him in that riveting game of Win, Lose or Draw (Cheese, 1/2, ink = she's having. What a hoot!) she realizes that although Uncle Jesse is nervous about the change he excited at the same time and ready to be a father and she had nothing to worry about all along. Sigh....
As I watched this episode the other day I asked myself two questions:
1. Why the hell am I watching Full House right now?
2. Why am I getting emotional over Uncle Jesse and Rebecca's unborn baby?
As soon as the famous "tender moment" Full House music started to play, my eyes started to well up. Well, Rebecca is married to a rock star and she gets to have a baby! I was actually jealous of and yearned for that moment on the cheesiest sitcom that ever was and that ever will be, so much so, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I thought to myself, I want that!
Oh man. Maybe I should get a puppy.
As I watched this episode the other day I asked myself two questions:
1. Why the hell am I watching Full House right now?
2. Why am I getting emotional over Uncle Jesse and Rebecca's unborn baby?
As soon as the famous "tender moment" Full House music started to play, my eyes started to well up. Well, Rebecca is married to a rock star and she gets to have a baby! I was actually jealous of and yearned for that moment on the cheesiest sitcom that ever was and that ever will be, so much so, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I thought to myself, I want that!
Oh man. Maybe I should get a puppy.
1.22.2007
Great Weekend
This weekend was one of the best. It started with seeing one of my best friends rock the mic like a vandal (quite literally) with his band Shayna and the Bulldog. It was good food, good drinks and great music.
And then, I got to spend the day with three of my favorite people, Brittaney and my nieces. It is so amazing to see brand new babies looking at the world around them. Everything is new and exciting. They are enthralled by things as simple as ceiling lights and are now at the point where they will stare at your face, as if they are studying every detail.
I am so lucky to be apart of these new experiences. For example, when Brittaney, the girls and I went shopping on Sunday, I was honored to be able to say to them, "Ladies, this is the Nordstrom shoe department. You must treat it with respect and honor and you will grow to love it."
And then, I got to spend the day with three of my favorite people, Brittaney and my nieces. It is so amazing to see brand new babies looking at the world around them. Everything is new and exciting. They are enthralled by things as simple as ceiling lights and are now at the point where they will stare at your face, as if they are studying every detail.
I am so lucky to be apart of these new experiences. For example, when Brittaney, the girls and I went shopping on Sunday, I was honored to be able to say to them, "Ladies, this is the Nordstrom shoe department. You must treat it with respect and honor and you will grow to love it."
1.18.2007
Rescinded.
Fine! So I left out a few details. What's the big deal? Apparently my husband states that this was the "real" conversation we had.
Admittedly, I was sore and did not take any medication to help fix that problem. Which is exactly why I was asking for a massage! Hello...
And I guess he used the word "silly" and not "annoying" to describe my behavior. Well, silly may have been what was said but the non-verbal cues were screaming annoying!
Admittedly, I was sore and did not take any medication to help fix that problem. Which is exactly why I was asking for a massage! Hello...
And I guess he used the word "silly" and not "annoying" to describe my behavior. Well, silly may have been what was said but the non-verbal cues were screaming annoying!
It went something like this...
I am not feeling well and I just wanted Grant to rub my back before bed. Is that too much to ask?
Heather: Can you just rub my back? I am so sore.
Grant: Not tonight. I have a headache and I just want to go to bed.
Heather: Please. I am sick. (I'll admit, there was a little whinning)
Grant: You are so annoying about these things sometimes. And you have not emptied the lint trap in the dryer for like, three loads. It was like I pulled a sweater out of there the today.
Heather: What?
Grant: Sorry. I just thought of that right now.
Heather: Can you just rub my back? I am so sore.
Grant: Not tonight. I have a headache and I just want to go to bed.
Heather: Please. I am sick. (I'll admit, there was a little whinning)
Grant: You are so annoying about these things sometimes. And you have not emptied the lint trap in the dryer for like, three loads. It was like I pulled a sweater out of there the today.
Heather: What?
Grant: Sorry. I just thought of that right now.
1.17.2007
1....2....47.
I have a new goal or myself. I will do 47 crunchs a day. I was going to set an arbitrary number but I figured that might be to lofty of a goal. Instead, the other day I decided to do as many crunches as I could. That number, 47. I know it doesn't seem like much, but now I know that I can do at least that many.
I have other things I plan on accomplishing in 2007. One of which is to find the perfect lip color and to not be afraid of a little bling.
I have other things I plan on accomplishing in 2007. One of which is to find the perfect lip color and to not be afraid of a little bling.
1.05.2007
Christmas 2006
We arrived at my aunt and uncle's lovely little cabin in the woods of Plain, Washington on Christmas Day. It was beautifully covered in snow. The landscape made it difficult to realize how cold it was outside but it was cold. None of that mattered since the cabin was powered by a nice electric central heating system. But see, the thing is an electric heater (and stove, water pump, fire place fan, hair straightener, blow dryer, blender...all the essentials) will only work if there is this fancy little thing called electricity.
See, it was really uncalled for when those trees fell on those power lines because it was right at the part in the movie when Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby had just gotten to Vermont and they were bringing the whole show up three days before Christmas to try to save the lodge from going under. And you know what? It is just not Christmas until I can hear those crazy cats sing, "Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army."
Well, the movie we had not, but a White Christmas, yes. It continued to snow and get colder. And an electric water pump meant no showers...or flush toilets. Yay! We all survived the first night and the next morning, still nothing. We drove into Leavenworth, which is a little Bavarian town with all the schnitzel and bratwurst you could ever ask for. We ate breakfast and shopped, but more importantly used every working toilet in the town.
Driving back to the cabin we had high hopes as we saw the Plain Valley lit up and beautiful. Not so much. Still no power at the cabin. It was night time again and it was getting colder.
Family meeting time! Frustrations were high at this point and there are really only so many "Donner Party" jokes that can be made before they all start to sound the same. And lets face it, there would be no drawing straws; the weakest were going to be the first to go.
Our choices were the following:
1. Brave the night. Load up on layers of PJ's and blankets and if there was no power by morning, pack up and leave.
2. Pack up the house and the cars in the dark in 12-degree weather and leave that night.
3. Make more Donner Party jokes.
Everyone was silent. We all looked at each other, huddled around the candlelit table staring at the bags of pretzels and beef jerky we would be eating for dinner. And to everyone's surprise, Grandma, (who was bundled up and looked like the little brother from a Christmas Story at this point) said with passion, "I say we stay!"
So we stayed. And we ate pretzels and beef jerky for dinner. We played Scattergories by candle light. We drank very, very cold wine and beer. We made more Donner Party jokes. It was the best.
And after 30 hours (give or take) we had power again.
I am sure as we re-tell this story as the years go on it will get a little more exaggerated and sound more like we were not just at a cold cabin on Christmas but in the seventh circle of hell. Obviously, we were all fine and we were not in any real danger. One thing I did think about as we were sitting in the dark with blankets wrapped around us was at least we were inside with a roof over our heads and that we had blankets to keep us warm and food and family around us. And when this is all over, we have a home to go to and this trip will be just another funny story to add the the vault and it is not really my life.
I am thankful for that...and that we didn't have to eat Grandma.
1.02.2007
A little late but....
Christmas was an adventure this year. More to come later. As for now....
Merry Christmas from the Shellens!
(The giant, red Christmas balls you see in the background are courtesy of my dear friend Joel. He thought they would enhance the tree.)
Merry Christmas from the Shellens!
(The giant, red Christmas balls you see in the background are courtesy of my dear friend Joel. He thought they would enhance the tree.)
12.22.2006
A girl can dream...
When it comes to buying a house, I am very pessimistic. My husband regularly hears me utter, "We are never going to buy a house." Too which he responds, "Yes we will." I know, it is a riveting conversation.
But like, houses are like expensive and stuff. I mean, I'm all like, I have bills and like rent that is all, like, really expensive and stuff. And it like, makes it like, really hard to like, buy, like, a really great investment and all when like, I have to pay for all this other stuff like, every month. I'm all like, what the hell!
And the process itelf of buying a house is terrifying. When I hear people talk about all the steps and paperwrok involved, I actually turn into that 15 year-old-girl quoted above.
"Wait, your escrow closed? Oh know, when will it open again?"
You see what I mean.
One of the things I have discussed with Grant is the possibilty of us having to aim low. I am talking low. We live in the Bay Area for God's sake and we are not planning on going anywhere. So I am saying if we want to stay here, our first house is going to have be purchased in a city that no self-respecting Bay Arean would choose to live unless forced. Grant wants to live in Palo Alto. As far as I am concerned that is never going to happen unless he puts "East" in front of that city.
I realize the following conversation may cause a stir. Please note, it was Grant that made the comment:
Heather: Maybe someday when Madison and Ella are old enough, they will ask, "Mom, why haven't we seen Uncle Grant and Auntie Heather and our cousins in a long time?" And then Brittaney will say, "Well, because Uncle Grant is a rock star and he is on tour again."
Grant: Yeah right. No, I think it will go more like this:
Hypothetical Babies: Mom, why haven't we seen Uncle Grant and Auntie Heather and our cousins in a long time?
Hypotheitical Brittaney: Well, because they live in Hayward now...and we don't go there.
He is finally coming around.
But like, houses are like expensive and stuff. I mean, I'm all like, I have bills and like rent that is all, like, really expensive and stuff. And it like, makes it like, really hard to like, buy, like, a really great investment and all when like, I have to pay for all this other stuff like, every month. I'm all like, what the hell!
And the process itelf of buying a house is terrifying. When I hear people talk about all the steps and paperwrok involved, I actually turn into that 15 year-old-girl quoted above.
"Wait, your escrow closed? Oh know, when will it open again?"
You see what I mean.
One of the things I have discussed with Grant is the possibilty of us having to aim low. I am talking low. We live in the Bay Area for God's sake and we are not planning on going anywhere. So I am saying if we want to stay here, our first house is going to have be purchased in a city that no self-respecting Bay Arean would choose to live unless forced. Grant wants to live in Palo Alto. As far as I am concerned that is never going to happen unless he puts "East" in front of that city.
I realize the following conversation may cause a stir. Please note, it was Grant that made the comment:
Heather: Maybe someday when Madison and Ella are old enough, they will ask, "Mom, why haven't we seen Uncle Grant and Auntie Heather and our cousins in a long time?" And then Brittaney will say, "Well, because Uncle Grant is a rock star and he is on tour again."
Grant: Yeah right. No, I think it will go more like this:
Hypothetical Babies: Mom, why haven't we seen Uncle Grant and Auntie Heather and our cousins in a long time?
Hypotheitical Brittaney: Well, because they live in Hayward now...and we don't go there.
He is finally coming around.
12.21.2006
12.20.2006
12.19.2006
12.12.2006
My weekend...
...was the second best weekend of my life. Second only to the weekend I got married.
This past weekend I got to meet my twin nieces who are back together again and home after 24 hrs of labor and a few days apart so Baby A, (aka Danny, aka Madison) could get some extra love and attention in the Kaiser Morse NICU.
I am so proud of my best friends. I think Ryan has fallen in love again; you can watch every time he looks at his girls. And I am in awe of Brittaney and the way she is handling all the stress of being a new mom.
One of my favorite parts of the weekend was getting to watch Uncle Grant change a diaper, for the first time. You would think that with 5 nephews already, they opportunity would have presented itself, but strangely enough this is not the case. And I have to say, he did an excellent job. First time ever on a 4-day-old baby girl is no easy task.
However, my most favorite part was being in the same room as all the amazing people I am so lucky to be friends with. I think the babies agree that they were just born into a pretty awesome family.
I love you Ella and Madison.
This past weekend I got to meet my twin nieces who are back together again and home after 24 hrs of labor and a few days apart so Baby A, (aka Danny, aka Madison) could get some extra love and attention in the Kaiser Morse NICU.
I am so proud of my best friends. I think Ryan has fallen in love again; you can watch every time he looks at his girls. And I am in awe of Brittaney and the way she is handling all the stress of being a new mom.
One of my favorite parts of the weekend was getting to watch Uncle Grant change a diaper, for the first time. You would think that with 5 nephews already, they opportunity would have presented itself, but strangely enough this is not the case. And I have to say, he did an excellent job. First time ever on a 4-day-old baby girl is no easy task.
However, my most favorite part was being in the same room as all the amazing people I am so lucky to be friends with. I think the babies agree that they were just born into a pretty awesome family.
I love you Ella and Madison.
11.26.2006
Thanksgiving
This past August, my family lost my sweet Great "Granny Bah" after a well-lived life of 96 years. When it came time to talk about the holidays, my sister and I came to an agreement that we wanted to go back to what we used to do and go to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving. Now, I said it was my great-grandmother who passed away and at 25 years old, I still have all four of my grandparents in my life. I don't know many people at my age who can say that. So when Bah died, I think my sister and I did not want to take that for granted.
I had several "Wonder Years" moments as we sat around the table that night at dinner...well, The Wonder Years but without the voice of Fred Savage as my internal dialogue. Although the "kids" were still at the "kids table" no one was under the age of 22. And at dinner, our juice was replaced with wine and our morning chocolate milk with coffee. And we talked about things like buying new cars, school, graduation, careers and the future that at 7 year olds, we thought would never come.
At one point Jessie and I were standing outside watching the turkey go into the deep fryer (oh how the times have changed) and she said to me, "Did their yard get smaller?" and I looked around at the same backyard and said, "No. We just got bigger."
But just like the movies, as I looked out into the yard, I could see four little figures all playing on the lawn together, just like we used to. And I am still not sure if what I was seeing was my past, or my future; either way it made me smile.
I had several "Wonder Years" moments as we sat around the table that night at dinner...well, The Wonder Years but without the voice of Fred Savage as my internal dialogue. Although the "kids" were still at the "kids table" no one was under the age of 22. And at dinner, our juice was replaced with wine and our morning chocolate milk with coffee. And we talked about things like buying new cars, school, graduation, careers and the future that at 7 year olds, we thought would never come.
At one point Jessie and I were standing outside watching the turkey go into the deep fryer (oh how the times have changed) and she said to me, "Did their yard get smaller?" and I looked around at the same backyard and said, "No. We just got bigger."
But just like the movies, as I looked out into the yard, I could see four little figures all playing on the lawn together, just like we used to. And I am still not sure if what I was seeing was my past, or my future; either way it made me smile.
11.22.2006
Game plan
I am not entirly sure what the game plan for tomorrow is. I think it will start with turkey and then probably end with turkey....or the food sweats.
I see regret in my future.
I see regret in my future.
11.12.2006
Too Much Vino.
You know you are getting old when after a night of maybe one too many glasses of wine you wake up the next morning hung over...in your legs. Ugh.
10.30.2006
Best of Shelloween 2006
Another Shelloween party has come and gone and I think it is safe to say the best one yet. Sure, there has only been two. Whatever. Here are some of the highlights:
1. Joel winning the award for best boyfriend at the party for willingly dressing up as someone he didn't even know existed just because Tina told him to and it would make her look cute.
2. They were no oats, but they were the "Cadillac of Dates"
3. A pregnant Catholic school girl? And a priest to boot! Dirty birds!
4. Lil' Smokeis. The most delicious of the trashiest of foods.
5. The return of Pumpkin Beer.
6. Tina, bartender extraordinaire.
7. No cat fights...even though Kyyyyydra was in attendance. (Can I get a what what LB fans!)
8. Farewell Typewriter in the play list.
9. The always entertaining Drunk Josh!
10. Giant Bananas!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks you all who came! See you next year!
1. Joel winning the award for best boyfriend at the party for willingly dressing up as someone he didn't even know existed just because Tina told him to and it would make her look cute.
2. They were no oats, but they were the "Cadillac of Dates"
3. A pregnant Catholic school girl? And a priest to boot! Dirty birds!
4. Lil' Smokeis. The most delicious of the trashiest of foods.
5. The return of Pumpkin Beer.
6. Tina, bartender extraordinaire.
7. No cat fights...even though Kyyyyydra was in attendance. (Can I get a what what LB fans!)
8. Farewell Typewriter in the play list.
9. The always entertaining Drunk Josh!
10. Giant Bananas!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks you all who came! See you next year!
10.27.2006
A must read.
If you are not already aware, this is a great website created by my dear friend Tina. She is so funny and a wonderful writer, not to mention a growing expert of all things fashionable and fabulous.
I would listen to anything this girl has to say. She is definitely the anti-roach. And if you want to know what "roach" means get to reading!
I would listen to anything this girl has to say. She is definitely the anti-roach. And if you want to know what "roach" means get to reading!
10.26.2006
The Raffle Queen
Apparently, I am very skilled at the art of winning a raffle. Over the past year I have won nearly every raffle I have entered myself in. In no particular order, here are the items I have won from 10/31/05 to present.
1. A Baby Stroller (I think it's presence freaks Grant out more than he would like to admit, but I'm keeping it!)
2. A Gingerbread House...that I made!
3. I gift basket from Bath and Body Works.
4. A $50 gift certificate to Massimo's in Fremont.
5. A 5-inch screen T.V. Cute...but I gave it away.
6. A rolling cooler.
After yesterday's win of the rolling cooler, I figured I was on to something so I bought a lotto ticket. Well, since I am still at work today and not posting this from a beach in Italy with a bottle of wine in one hand and the villa that I just purchased in the other, it is safe to assume that I didn't win.
I guess I should stick to where my real gift is...raffles. I do have my name in a $500 shopping spree at Safeway, or I guess I should say, in November I am going to win a $500 shopping spree at Safeway.
I like being an expert at something that takes no still whatsoever and people just keep giving you things.
1. A Baby Stroller (I think it's presence freaks Grant out more than he would like to admit, but I'm keeping it!)
2. A Gingerbread House...that I made!
3. I gift basket from Bath and Body Works.
4. A $50 gift certificate to Massimo's in Fremont.
5. A 5-inch screen T.V. Cute...but I gave it away.
6. A rolling cooler.
After yesterday's win of the rolling cooler, I figured I was on to something so I bought a lotto ticket. Well, since I am still at work today and not posting this from a beach in Italy with a bottle of wine in one hand and the villa that I just purchased in the other, it is safe to assume that I didn't win.
I guess I should stick to where my real gift is...raffles. I do have my name in a $500 shopping spree at Safeway, or I guess I should say, in November I am going to win a $500 shopping spree at Safeway.
I like being an expert at something that takes no still whatsoever and people just keep giving you things.
10.24.2006
Conversations with Jessie
Yesterday before aerobics, I walked into my parents house and Jessie asked me what my blood type is. She is reading up on something called the "Blood Type Diet" where you are supposed to eat for your blood type. My sister is type O. According to this diet, she has the "original blood type," the blood of the cavemen. Apparently this means that she should be eating...well...like a caveman. More meat, less carbs. To her this makes sense because she, quote, "lost weight on Atkins but was a fat vegan." It may also explain why she craves beef...and smoked turkey legs.
Anyway, as she is explaining all this to me, she starts referring to it, not as the "Blood Type Diet" but rather, "The Caveman Diet" and hilariousness ensued:
We were walking to the car, on our way to aerobics. Aerobics!!!
Heather: There is candy in the front seat.
Jessie: Candy? I think candy is part of the caveman diet.
Heather: Right. (as Jessie opens a Reese's) Can I have a bite?
Jessie: Oh, cavemen don't share. (she dives into the bag for a 100 Grand)
Jessie: I think I will try this one...I like being a caveman.
FYI: The drive from my parents to aerobics class is about 2 blocks and it takes about 18 seconds to get there. She has already had two snack size candy bars. Now on to number three:
Jessie: Oh Heath Bar...just as they ate in prehistoric days.
Heather: Jessie! Are you eating another one!?!?
Jessie: Leave me be! I am a caveman!
Anyway, as she is explaining all this to me, she starts referring to it, not as the "Blood Type Diet" but rather, "The Caveman Diet" and hilariousness ensued:
We were walking to the car, on our way to aerobics. Aerobics!!!
Heather: There is candy in the front seat.
Jessie: Candy? I think candy is part of the caveman diet.
Heather: Right. (as Jessie opens a Reese's) Can I have a bite?
Jessie: Oh, cavemen don't share. (she dives into the bag for a 100 Grand)
Jessie: I think I will try this one...I like being a caveman.
FYI: The drive from my parents to aerobics class is about 2 blocks and it takes about 18 seconds to get there. She has already had two snack size candy bars. Now on to number three:
Jessie: Oh Heath Bar...just as they ate in prehistoric days.
Heather: Jessie! Are you eating another one!?!?
Jessie: Leave me be! I am a caveman!
10.11.2006
So bring me some figgy pudding....
Actually don't, because that sounds gross.
However, the early onset of the Holiday season is anything but. This is the start of my favorite time of year and I say bring it on! So what if Halloween is still 3 weeks away. So what if it is just another way for retailers to start rolling in the Chirstmas cha-ching. I say embrace it. I don't have to buy anything to enjoy Christmas and no one has to buy me anything either for that matter. I am perfectly content with simply soaking in the fun of all the red and green. My one request is that for at least 31 days, my house smells like a Christmas tree when I walk downstairs in the morning.
With that said I say have a great October 11th, and Merry Chirstmas!
However, the early onset of the Holiday season is anything but. This is the start of my favorite time of year and I say bring it on! So what if Halloween is still 3 weeks away. So what if it is just another way for retailers to start rolling in the Chirstmas cha-ching. I say embrace it. I don't have to buy anything to enjoy Christmas and no one has to buy me anything either for that matter. I am perfectly content with simply soaking in the fun of all the red and green. My one request is that for at least 31 days, my house smells like a Christmas tree when I walk downstairs in the morning.
With that said I say have a great October 11th, and Merry Chirstmas!
10.02.2006
I found heaven.
Or, I went to the Ferry Building in San Francisco for the first time. I have one question after the experience:
Why did I not know about this sooner and why can't I live there?
As many of you may know, my husband is a very lucky man. I say this because I am what is known of as a "foodie." I have also been lovingly referred to as a "food hound." The ferry building, if you will, is the mother ship calling me home. All the shops are devoted to fancy food and wine. And in my book, who really needs anything else.
At one point I asked Grant, "Is it weird that I have a college degree in Child Development and I want to quit my job and work in this market?" To which he replied, "No. Look at how giddy you are."
Well, if you had seen tables of organic heirloom tomatoes and wheels of cheese the size of, well, wheels, you would have been giddy too! Giddy as a school girl...a big fat, full-of-organic-bakery-goods-and-gelato school girl.
Why did I not know about this sooner and why can't I live there?
As many of you may know, my husband is a very lucky man. I say this because I am what is known of as a "foodie." I have also been lovingly referred to as a "food hound." The ferry building, if you will, is the mother ship calling me home. All the shops are devoted to fancy food and wine. And in my book, who really needs anything else.
At one point I asked Grant, "Is it weird that I have a college degree in Child Development and I want to quit my job and work in this market?" To which he replied, "No. Look at how giddy you are."
Well, if you had seen tables of organic heirloom tomatoes and wheels of cheese the size of, well, wheels, you would have been giddy too! Giddy as a school girl...a big fat, full-of-organic-bakery-goods-and-gelato school girl.
9.21.2006
Conversations with Jessie
Let me just set the scene for you.
My sister, my mom and I are taking an areobics class and yes I realize that it is 2006 and not 1984. Anyway, compared to the relaxing semester of yoga we finished in May, this is pretty intense.
So, we are in the middle of these incredibly painful crunches that involve our legs being straight up in the air and reaching up, oppisite hand to foot, back and forth, back and forth. My body is on fire, I am sweating like pig, and I feel like I have the endurace of someone in their 70's. I glance over at Jessie with a look which is trying to convey, "Help me. I am going to die." My sister responds to my non-verbal cry for help with this:
Jessie: I feel like mexican food right now.
Me:(panting) What?!?!
Jessie: I don't know. Right now I just really feel like some chicken tacos.
My sister, my mom and I are taking an areobics class and yes I realize that it is 2006 and not 1984. Anyway, compared to the relaxing semester of yoga we finished in May, this is pretty intense.
So, we are in the middle of these incredibly painful crunches that involve our legs being straight up in the air and reaching up, oppisite hand to foot, back and forth, back and forth. My body is on fire, I am sweating like pig, and I feel like I have the endurace of someone in their 70's. I glance over at Jessie with a look which is trying to convey, "Help me. I am going to die." My sister responds to my non-verbal cry for help with this:
Jessie: I feel like mexican food right now.
Me:(panting) What?!?!
Jessie: I don't know. Right now I just really feel like some chicken tacos.
9.04.2006
A pearl of wisdom
I have recently come to the conclusion that I am not the only person on the planet who cannot wear the only jeans that are ever on sale at the Gap.
The reality is the only jeans that are ever on sale at the Gap are the ultra-low-rise-my-ass-is-showing kind and most of the population cannot look good in them anyway and that my friends, is why there are racks and racks of them.
It is not just me, but everyone rather.
At least that is what I am going to keep telling myself after I try those damn things on and put them right back on the "go-back" table every single time I go in that store.
The reality is the only jeans that are ever on sale at the Gap are the ultra-low-rise-my-ass-is-showing kind and most of the population cannot look good in them anyway and that my friends, is why there are racks and racks of them.
It is not just me, but everyone rather.
At least that is what I am going to keep telling myself after I try those damn things on and put them right back on the "go-back" table every single time I go in that store.
8.31.2006
Promotion
I just accepted a new position at work. I am often asked this question or something similar: "So, how is the new job going?"
What I actually say: Great! I am really excited.
What I want to say: Right, my promotion. Well I feel like everything is spiraling out of control into the fiery pits of hell. And my brand new office with a door that shuts makes it much more tempting to crawl under my desk and hide from the new responsibility that has been given to me. But, it is good. You know, that "I-feel-like-putting-my-head-in-an-oven," kind of good.
What I actually say: Great! I am really excited.
What I want to say: Right, my promotion. Well I feel like everything is spiraling out of control into the fiery pits of hell. And my brand new office with a door that shuts makes it much more tempting to crawl under my desk and hide from the new responsibility that has been given to me. But, it is good. You know, that "I-feel-like-putting-my-head-in-an-oven," kind of good.
8.21.2006
Ahh...the fair.
Yes, I do love it so. With all it's wonderful smells of fried treats, corn dogs, farm animals and carnies, it is the one thing that makes my summer feel complete. And you know what is even better? I think the schizophrenic lights of the high quality carnival rides and the beckoning call of the chamois man wearing the Britany Spears mic, blinds you of the fact that you should feel really guilty about ingesting a lifetimes worth of saturated fat into your body at one sitting.
The next day you feel like death...but it is so worth it.
8.14.2006
Babies abound!
As many of you know, my best friend is expecting twin girls and the anticpation of their arrival is exciting and overwhelming.
Now, many may think that this news has given me what is commonly reffered to as "baby fever." This is entirly untrue.
Ok, fine. So the sight of Brittaney's ever-expanding belly makes me ache to the core of my being. But I don't think that means anything.
I mean, so what if I am just doing some regular old shopping for some regular old "I am not pregnant nor am I a mom yet" things I just happen to wander into the baby departments at The Gap, Target, or Gymboree for example. Is there really anything wrong with that?
And you know what, I Tivo TLC's "A Baby Story" daily for educational purposes only.
See, isn't it obvious that this is not something I am looking for right now. I have baby fever! Ridiculous.
Now, many may think that this news has given me what is commonly reffered to as "baby fever." This is entirly untrue.
Ok, fine. So the sight of Brittaney's ever-expanding belly makes me ache to the core of my being. But I don't think that means anything.
I mean, so what if I am just doing some regular old shopping for some regular old "I am not pregnant nor am I a mom yet" things I just happen to wander into the baby departments at The Gap, Target, or Gymboree for example. Is there really anything wrong with that?
And you know what, I Tivo TLC's "A Baby Story" daily for educational purposes only.
See, isn't it obvious that this is not something I am looking for right now. I have baby fever! Ridiculous.
7.29.2006
Parenting Lessons in Target.
While checking out some sale shoes at my friendly, local Target store, the woman next to me recieved a phone call. She is on to something:
"Hello. Hi babe....again? Why does he keep doing that.....yeah.....you know we should just like wrap a plastic bag around him or something at night.....uh huh....yeah just for the night time and then put the underwear like over the plastic. Ok. Well, I will home soon. Bye.
A plastic bag! That is a great idea. I mean who needs diapers when there are choking hazards to use.
"Hello. Hi babe....again? Why does he keep doing that.....yeah.....you know we should just like wrap a plastic bag around him or something at night.....uh huh....yeah just for the night time and then put the underwear like over the plastic. Ok. Well, I will home soon. Bye.
A plastic bag! That is a great idea. I mean who needs diapers when there are choking hazards to use.
7.08.2006
What can happen when you let Ryan play with the white gas.
Ok, not really. This was one of the many attractions that Brittaney, Ryan, Grant and I visited while camping in Mammoth. What is actually occuring here is that there are unusual amounts of CO2 in the air which kills off the trees. Because of this, you will find comforting signs like the one seen below scattered about the area:
Now, of course all of Mammoth did not look like that and most if it was incredibly beautiful:
What was not so beautiful is how I look when I am camping. Although I do have pictures of that as well, I will leave that image up to your imagination.
6.19.2006
6.08.2006
It finally happened.
I have avoided it for so long. It was something I feared would happen but hoped that maybe, just maybe, I would be spared.
Not so.
Today I was referred to as...Heather Snellen.
Not so.
Today I was referred to as...Heather Snellen.
6.05.2006
His intentions were good...
...but alas he failed.
"He" was the the man behind me in line at the grocery store. His items: 6 Lean Cuisine microwave dinners...a box of Cheez-Its and 2 pints of Raspberry Chocolate Hagen-Das ice cream.
It's called baby steps people.
"He" was the the man behind me in line at the grocery store. His items: 6 Lean Cuisine microwave dinners...a box of Cheez-Its and 2 pints of Raspberry Chocolate Hagen-Das ice cream.
It's called baby steps people.
4.30.2006
And she's back!
Back by popular demand....Conversations with Jessie.
Scene: A girl from Jessie's school is coming over to work on a project with her:
Jessie: This girl is seriously the most beautiful girl you will ever see. So pretty in fact, that I had to do my makeup again.
Heather: Really? Well based on the way I look right now, I am glad that I am leaving.
Jessie: Seriously. The prettiest girl ever.
Mom: Well, I think that Heather and Jessie are the prettiest girls ever.
Jessie:(slight pause to consider) Yeah, no. After you see this girl, you will change your mind.
I never got to see her, but hotter than a Mother's love? Wow.
Scene: A girl from Jessie's school is coming over to work on a project with her:
Jessie: This girl is seriously the most beautiful girl you will ever see. So pretty in fact, that I had to do my makeup again.
Heather: Really? Well based on the way I look right now, I am glad that I am leaving.
Jessie: Seriously. The prettiest girl ever.
Mom: Well, I think that Heather and Jessie are the prettiest girls ever.
Jessie:(slight pause to consider) Yeah, no. After you see this girl, you will change your mind.
I never got to see her, but hotter than a Mother's love? Wow.
2.26.2006
Overheard conversations #1
Scene: Stoneridge mall, Macy's employee talking to a customer in line:
"Oh my gosh, my ex-boyfriend went into a pet store one time and there was this parrot there, and it called him a buttface."
Awesome.
"Oh my gosh, my ex-boyfriend went into a pet store one time and there was this parrot there, and it called him a buttface."
Awesome.
2.23.2006
Rockin' the Downward Dog
I have started taking yoga with my mom and sis. It's awesome. Love it. I was very nervous about this class because, let's face it I am about as flexible as well...a 2x4. However, on the first dayof class my instuctor said something that really put my mind at ease.
Yoga is not a competitive sport.
So true. Even still, I have never been able to bend and touch my toes, which can be a little embarrasing when others in the class can basically fold in half 5 times. But tonight she said something that I now will use as my mantra for yoga class: "Yoga will never hurt you, but your ego will."
So take that ego! I will grab those toes some day!
Yoga is not a competitive sport.
So true. Even still, I have never been able to bend and touch my toes, which can be a little embarrasing when others in the class can basically fold in half 5 times. But tonight she said something that I now will use as my mantra for yoga class: "Yoga will never hurt you, but your ego will."
So take that ego! I will grab those toes some day!
2.15.2006
Oh Honey! It's our first (fill in the blank)!
The first year of marriage is full of "firsts." First Thanksgiving. First Chirstmas. First Valentine's day. First married birthday. And next month, our first March 21st. Exciting, I know.
But what is more exciting to me regarding these firsts is that I remember some of the real firsts that Grant and I had together. I remember the actual first Valentine's Day we had. He gave me a cheesy card with some lame joke on it and in the "to" line he wrote Heather Locklear, crossed it out and wrote Andersen. I still have it.
Then for my first birthday together I walked into the band room (that's right people, the band room) with a huge bunch of balloons and a flowers from my friends and Grant asked me, "Who are those for?" To which I replied, "They are mine...for my birthday today." Really great impression to make, forget your crush's birthday. So what did he do? He went out into the field and picked me a bouquet of tiny daisy's. I still have those as well.
I still can't beleive that I have known Grant for half my life. As fast as it all has gone by, when I really think about it, it has been a really long time. I was 12 years old when I met him in math class. 12! Just a baby. When I think back on that class, I never would have believed that my husband was sitting behind me. Then again, maybe I would have, because I think I have always known.
But what is more exciting to me regarding these firsts is that I remember some of the real firsts that Grant and I had together. I remember the actual first Valentine's Day we had. He gave me a cheesy card with some lame joke on it and in the "to" line he wrote Heather Locklear, crossed it out and wrote Andersen. I still have it.
Then for my first birthday together I walked into the band room (that's right people, the band room) with a huge bunch of balloons and a flowers from my friends and Grant asked me, "Who are those for?" To which I replied, "They are mine...for my birthday today." Really great impression to make, forget your crush's birthday. So what did he do? He went out into the field and picked me a bouquet of tiny daisy's. I still have those as well.
I still can't beleive that I have known Grant for half my life. As fast as it all has gone by, when I really think about it, it has been a really long time. I was 12 years old when I met him in math class. 12! Just a baby. When I think back on that class, I never would have believed that my husband was sitting behind me. Then again, maybe I would have, because I think I have always known.
2.02.2006
My least favs....
1. Applesauce: I enjoy a raw apple now and again; cook the thing and mash it up...appaling.
2. The Wind: I just wish it would stop being so...so windy.
3. Raisins in cookies: Well raisins in general really. However, raisins in cookies (or "land mines" as I refer to them) are unacceptable.
4. The grade "B+" or an 89%: To me, this grade is worse than a "C." If I got a "C" it is because I did not try to do any better. But 89% means all I needed to give was an extra 1%! Come on!
5. "EVOO": Would you just say "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" already!?!?
Everything else I am pretty cool with.
2. The Wind: I just wish it would stop being so...so windy.
3. Raisins in cookies: Well raisins in general really. However, raisins in cookies (or "land mines" as I refer to them) are unacceptable.
4. The grade "B+" or an 89%: To me, this grade is worse than a "C." If I got a "C" it is because I did not try to do any better. But 89% means all I needed to give was an extra 1%! Come on!
5. "EVOO": Would you just say "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" already!?!?
Everything else I am pretty cool with.
1.15.2006
Snow Shoeing
I am just going to come right out and say it. I look hot. I mean those glasses? Can you dig it?
1.08.2006
Why?!?!
Why is it that when you have a swollen taste bud, which is practically invisble to the naked eye, it feels like there is a piano sitting on my tounge?
What is up with that anyway?
What is up with that anyway?
12.19.2005
Best weekend ever!
It really is easy to have the best weekend ever when you have the best friends ever.
It started with a little holiday adventure to Arden Fair Mall to take a picture with Santa to get us in the holiday spirit. We then enjoyed a lovely feast of Morraccan food where we ate with our hands only, (way to go Toni!)and saw some belly dancers. To top the whole weekend off, all eight of us curled up around the fire and watched one of the greatest Christmas movies of all times, National Lampoon's Chistmas Vacation. I mean, what doesn't say "good times" more than Chevy Chase's redition of Joy to the World?
It started with a little holiday adventure to Arden Fair Mall to take a picture with Santa to get us in the holiday spirit. We then enjoyed a lovely feast of Morraccan food where we ate with our hands only, (way to go Toni!)and saw some belly dancers. To top the whole weekend off, all eight of us curled up around the fire and watched one of the greatest Christmas movies of all times, National Lampoon's Chistmas Vacation. I mean, what doesn't say "good times" more than Chevy Chase's redition of Joy to the World?
12.11.2005
12.06.2005
Finally!
Everytime, without fail, the first thing I think of when I walk into the dry cleaners is, "Maybe today. Maybe today will be the day that the cleaner doesn't have to push the button that rotates the clothes and brings your freshly pressed garments to you because my clothes will be right in front, waiting for me."
Yesterday, my friends, was that day. I knew the odds were not in my favor but I whole-heartedly beleived that one day it would happen. And happen it did, as if my skirt knew I was coming.
This incident has restored my hope that the day will come that my luggage will be the first piece off the ramp at baggage claim. I girl can dream, can't she?
Yesterday, my friends, was that day. I knew the odds were not in my favor but I whole-heartedly beleived that one day it would happen. And happen it did, as if my skirt knew I was coming.
This incident has restored my hope that the day will come that my luggage will be the first piece off the ramp at baggage claim. I girl can dream, can't she?
12.03.2005
Our First Christmas: Act 1, Scene 1
Heather: How about this one?
Grant: It's too small.
Heather: No it's not. It's fine.
Grant: It has to be at least as tall as me, at least!
Heather: But honey...
Grant: No. In fact, I need to have to reach to put the tree topper on, okay!
Heather: Okay.
Grant: If that one was for sale, I would take it home with me (pointing to the 40 foot pine tree growing in the Target parking lot.)
Heather: Ok, this one is too small.
Grant: It's too small.
Heather: No it's not. It's fine.
Grant: It has to be at least as tall as me, at least!
Heather: But honey...
Grant: No. In fact, I need to have to reach to put the tree topper on, okay!
Heather: Okay.
Grant: If that one was for sale, I would take it home with me (pointing to the 40 foot pine tree growing in the Target parking lot.)
Heather: Ok, this one is too small.
11.28.2005
If it's wrong....
...then I'm as wrong as wrong can be. That's right! I am not ashamed to admit it! I have been listening to 96.5, and it's non-stop Chirstmas music. I know, it's lame, but it makes me happy and you can't stop me from doing it. You can tease all you want, but to you I say tis the freakin' season Ebenezer!
Please keep speaking to me.
Please keep speaking to me.
11.14.2005
The Year of 25: Brittaney Meyer
November 12, 2005
In attendance: The Ropsheyers and Co.
What: Ice Blocking
Where: Mission San Jose High School
Why: Uh...because it is awesome!
In attendance: The Ropsheyers and Co.
What: Ice Blocking
Where: Mission San Jose High School
Why: Uh...because it is awesome!
11.09.2005
My little Brittaney is all grown up!
I would like to dedicate this post to my best friend Brittaney because today she turns a quarter of a century old.
I have to say, in my completely unbiased opinion, that we have the best friendship ever. We talk to each other almost everyday. We always support each other when need be. I know that no matter what, I can count on Brittaney. We can make each other laugh, even when no one else thinks we are being funny. And we have only had one fight, which Brittaney may try to tell you that I was being unreasonable but don't buy it.
Anyway, Happy Birthday B. I love you.
Love,
Your Heather
I have to say, in my completely unbiased opinion, that we have the best friendship ever. We talk to each other almost everyday. We always support each other when need be. I know that no matter what, I can count on Brittaney. We can make each other laugh, even when no one else thinks we are being funny. And we have only had one fight, which Brittaney may try to tell you that I was being unreasonable but don't buy it.
Anyway, Happy Birthday B. I love you.
Love,
Your Heather
11.06.2005
I must be getting old.
Let me tell you why.
Last night Grant and I went to a show in the city which I was happy to be going to because I was going to be spending the evening with my husband, but if it had been up to me, we would not have been going.
Anyway, we drive to the city and I go to get my ID and ATM card out of my purse when I realize, my ID is not in my purse. It was then that Grant tells me this is a 21 and up show...fantastic.
We wait in line for our tickets, which we have already purchased of course and the whole time I am saying, "This is never going to work." They were checking all IDs. So we got up to the door and Grant tells the guy, "My wife forgot her ID is there any way that we can..."
The bouncer looks at Grant's ID and looks at me and says, "What's his birthday?" Which I recite. Then he asks, "What's your birthday?" Which I also recite. He then says, "Alright, go on in."
Nice! It was so simple. So I guess it comes down to this, either the guy thinks "What's the big deal, she is probably over 21." Or, "There is no way that woman is under the age of 21."
I hope he was not thinking the latter. It's probably unlikely. Whatever, it got me in.
Last night Grant and I went to a show in the city which I was happy to be going to because I was going to be spending the evening with my husband, but if it had been up to me, we would not have been going.
Anyway, we drive to the city and I go to get my ID and ATM card out of my purse when I realize, my ID is not in my purse. It was then that Grant tells me this is a 21 and up show...fantastic.
We wait in line for our tickets, which we have already purchased of course and the whole time I am saying, "This is never going to work." They were checking all IDs. So we got up to the door and Grant tells the guy, "My wife forgot her ID is there any way that we can..."
The bouncer looks at Grant's ID and looks at me and says, "What's his birthday?" Which I recite. Then he asks, "What's your birthday?" Which I also recite. He then says, "Alright, go on in."
Nice! It was so simple. So I guess it comes down to this, either the guy thinks "What's the big deal, she is probably over 21." Or, "There is no way that woman is under the age of 21."
I hope he was not thinking the latter. It's probably unlikely. Whatever, it got me in.
11.02.2005
Best of the first annual Shellen Halloween party
1. The clever menu. For example, "Tina come get some ham, roll-ups"
2. The photo studio. I would venture to say some of the best pics ever.
3. Oats for all to share! Thanks Joel.
4. The giant ceiling spider.
5. The literal costume representation of the theme thanks to Josh ((aka: Naoplean Bonaparte) and Toni (aka: Dynamite). Nice work.
6. A new friend! Hi Tina!
7. Ryan dressed up like the lyon that he is!
8. Maker's Mark. Nice choice Nicole.
9. The tots!
10. Great friends! Thanks to all who came!
Unitl next year.....
2. The photo studio. I would venture to say some of the best pics ever.
3. Oats for all to share! Thanks Joel.
4. The giant ceiling spider.
5. The literal costume representation of the theme thanks to Josh ((aka: Naoplean Bonaparte) and Toni (aka: Dynamite). Nice work.
6. A new friend! Hi Tina!
7. Ryan dressed up like the lyon that he is!
8. Maker's Mark. Nice choice Nicole.
9. The tots!
10. Great friends! Thanks to all who came!
Unitl next year.....
10.30.2005
Well, it's official
That's right people! I am now an official, card carrying (literally) Shellen. Last Monday I found my way to the Social Security Office which I think is actually one of the saddest places on earth, and had my name changed.
As excited I was to get married, this was a step I was not looking forward to talking. I never thought it would bother me until the reality of the whole thing hit me. Just like that I am not Heather Andersen anymore. But I like Heather Andersen. It makes me feel special when I say things like, "that's Andersen, with an sEn." Us "sen's" have had to fight for the correct spelling of our name since, well the beginning of time, or, well at least it feels like that. I guess I just was sad to give that up.
But, through compromise, I did it. I did not so much as change my name, rather I added to it. And I am happy with that decision. So I am offcially as "Mrs." now. And although I will never Miss again, I will always be an Andersen (Shellen).
As excited I was to get married, this was a step I was not looking forward to talking. I never thought it would bother me until the reality of the whole thing hit me. Just like that I am not Heather Andersen anymore. But I like Heather Andersen. It makes me feel special when I say things like, "that's Andersen, with an sEn." Us "sen's" have had to fight for the correct spelling of our name since, well the beginning of time, or, well at least it feels like that. I guess I just was sad to give that up.
But, through compromise, I did it. I did not so much as change my name, rather I added to it. And I am happy with that decision. So I am offcially as "Mrs." now. And although I will never Miss again, I will always be an Andersen (Shellen).
10.14.2005
The Wedding...
...was fantastic. Seriously, there were no hiccups. Everything went just according to plan. I had the best time and from what I am hearing so did everyone else. My bridal party did such a great job. I could not have asked for a better group of peeps. And best of all, I got to marry the man that I have been in love with since the 7th grade. How cool is that! Thank you all for being a part of our day. I will never forget it. I love you all!
Now...the honeymoon...
...was fantastic. Italy was amazing. Everyone should go if you have the chance. Rome was insane. It was huge, crazy and busy. Several times we were almost hit by cars and/or vespas. The ruins of the Roman forum and the Colosseum were unreal and the Vatican was one of the most impressive things I have ever seen in my life and the gelato was amazing.
Positano was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, charming and quaint depite the 2 days of thunder and lightning storms. The houses and shops started at the beach and acended vertically up the hill side. The seafood was out of this world, the limoncello was fantastic and again, the gelato was amazing.
Although it was hard to leave, the last few days in Italy involved pretty hellish traveling and were were definitly ready to come home to our friends, family and our own bed.
One thing I did realize while on our honeymoon was that we have the best friends and family in the world. There were often times when we would see something so amazing and I would think, "I wish our friends were hear to see this too. They would love it." How cool do your friends have to be so that you actually miss them while on your honeymoon. Of course there were times when I was very glad you were not there but seriously, I love you guys.
Apparently, Brittaney missed me so much, that she took a little trip herself. Please find your way to her sight because I think she just might be the funniest person I know.
Positano was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, charming and quaint depite the 2 days of thunder and lightning storms. The houses and shops started at the beach and acended vertically up the hill side. The seafood was out of this world, the limoncello was fantastic and again, the gelato was amazing.
Although it was hard to leave, the last few days in Italy involved pretty hellish traveling and were were definitly ready to come home to our friends, family and our own bed.
One thing I did realize while on our honeymoon was that we have the best friends and family in the world. There were often times when we would see something so amazing and I would think, "I wish our friends were hear to see this too. They would love it." How cool do your friends have to be so that you actually miss them while on your honeymoon. Of course there were times when I was very glad you were not there but seriously, I love you guys.
Apparently, Brittaney missed me so much, that she took a little trip herself. Please find your way to her sight because I think she just might be the funniest person I know.
9.09.2005
8.31.2005
“I’ll take Cosmo…and throw in a shooting while you are at it.”
Never in a million years did I think I would be spending about 2 minutes of my bachorlette party hiding under a table waiting to hear the sound of gun fire. Looking back on the ordeal I realize that the best case scenario happened in the worst case scenario and that is the most important thing to remember. But I am not going to lie; I have never been so scared in my life.
However, I refused to let it bring down the party, so the girls and I got the hell out of downtown Sac and went to Mandango’s (my old stomping ground) where I proceeded to have several more drinks purchased for me. Needless to say, was feeling good.
I delayed this post because I was trying to come up with the perfect way to re-tell the events of August 27, 2005. But, it looks like Toni and Brittaney beat me too it and I could not have said it better myself. Please see below:
Preconceived notions are a dangerous thing....we thought we'd dance on the table at the bar, instead we hid underneath one. –Toni
Thank you Mrs. Delp for teaching me, not only earthquake, but drive-by survivor skills as well. I would say we should do it again sometime but, let's face it, one shooting per lifetime is more than enough. –Brittaney.
However, I refused to let it bring down the party, so the girls and I got the hell out of downtown Sac and went to Mandango’s (my old stomping ground) where I proceeded to have several more drinks purchased for me. Needless to say, was feeling good.
I delayed this post because I was trying to come up with the perfect way to re-tell the events of August 27, 2005. But, it looks like Toni and Brittaney beat me too it and I could not have said it better myself. Please see below:
Preconceived notions are a dangerous thing....we thought we'd dance on the table at the bar, instead we hid underneath one. –Toni
Thank you Mrs. Delp for teaching me, not only earthquake, but drive-by survivor skills as well. I would say we should do it again sometime but, let's face it, one shooting per lifetime is more than enough. –Brittaney.
8.21.2005
8.11.2005
Very Un-Bridal of Me
I am truly sorry. I Thought the past 10 months would have been posts about nothing but wedding info and news. Looking back I realize that I have failed you. I would like to say that I have not posted about my wedding plans because the actual planning part has taken over all of my free time. However, that too would be a lie. I fact, I have found the past 10 months to be fairly easy. Sure, there were slight hiccups along the way, the most recent one being a small bridesmaid dress fiasco, but other than that, everything seems to really be falling into place.
Maybe I haven't felt too stressed because I don't actually realize how soon the wedding is yet. I mean, it is only 7 weeks and 2 days away and we still need to make the programs, get the favors, finish up the last handful of invites that are missing pieces of addresses, get all the groomsmen and bridesmaids fitted, get gifts for our bridal party, pick out music for the ceremony, pick out the music for the reception, firm up honeymoon plans, count up the responses, assign seating, have my final fitting, get my hair cut, have my hair trial....Oh God. I have to go.
Maybe I haven't felt too stressed because I don't actually realize how soon the wedding is yet. I mean, it is only 7 weeks and 2 days away and we still need to make the programs, get the favors, finish up the last handful of invites that are missing pieces of addresses, get all the groomsmen and bridesmaids fitted, get gifts for our bridal party, pick out music for the ceremony, pick out the music for the reception, firm up honeymoon plans, count up the responses, assign seating, have my final fitting, get my hair cut, have my hair trial....Oh God. I have to go.
8.04.2005
Conversations with Jessie
Me: I have not had a good "Conversations with Jessie" in a while.
Jessie: Uh-huh.
Me: Did you read my post about...
Jessie: Heather, I don't read your blog.
Jessie: Uh-huh.
Me: Did you read my post about...
Jessie: Heather, I don't read your blog.
7.08.2005
I'm ready...
...to not be at work today.
...to relax in a raft on the American River
...to hang out with some of my favorite people.
...to de-stress.
...to drink wine until I'm goofy.
...to not think about anything but having a good time for a few days.
...to relax in a raft on the American River
...to hang out with some of my favorite people.
...to de-stress.
...to drink wine until I'm goofy.
...to not think about anything but having a good time for a few days.
7.05.2005
Conversations with...
No, not Jessie. I know that my readers are always a fan of that feature. But today I will pay tribute to my best friend Brittaney, who does not have a blog but should because of hilarious gems like this one:
Scene: intermission at Jessie's musical
Brittaney: I need something to eat...and something to pee in.
Apparently she did not care if it was a toilet, just a bowl shaped receptical of some kind.
Scene: intermission at Jessie's musical
Brittaney: I need something to eat...and something to pee in.
Apparently she did not care if it was a toilet, just a bowl shaped receptical of some kind.
6.05.2005
It has been a long time...
5.15.2005
I didn't get that memo.
I went to the dentist the other day and of course I have cavities. The dentist told me I had "a couple" cavities which I thought meant two. But no, I have four. FOUR! So then she asks me how often I floss my teeth and I say "a couple times a week." (which I admit is an slight exageration). And she tells me, "Well really you should be flossing twice a day."
Twice a day. Since when? Has anyone else heard of this because this is news to me. Oh well. The first filling will take place on June 1st. I say first because I have so many, I have to go back two times. At least I have a better dental plan.
Twice a day. Since when? Has anyone else heard of this because this is news to me. Oh well. The first filling will take place on June 1st. I say first because I have so many, I have to go back two times. At least I have a better dental plan.
5.02.2005
Over the Rhine
I have been waiting for Grant to post something about the Over the Rhine show we went and saw the other night so I could simply post something like this:
"My thoughts exactly"
And then have a link to Grant's site so you could read his review. But since he hasn't, I guess I do have something to say.
What that performance made me realize was that everything really does happen for a reason. Just go with me.
When Grant let for Georgia to do the internship with Paste, I was less than thrilled if you can imagine. As crappy as it was to be away from him for 3 months, had he not gone, we probably never would have thought to listen to an Over the Rhine album. Seeing them perform was seriously one of the coolest expereinces of my life. Had Grant never gone, it would never have happened.
I know I may sound crazy and I may be reading way too much into this whole thing, but seriously, be thankful for all the expereinces you have in your life. I really think that there is a reason why they happen. And it is really, really cool when you figure that out.
"My thoughts exactly"
And then have a link to Grant's site so you could read his review. But since he hasn't, I guess I do have something to say.
What that performance made me realize was that everything really does happen for a reason. Just go with me.
When Grant let for Georgia to do the internship with Paste, I was less than thrilled if you can imagine. As crappy as it was to be away from him for 3 months, had he not gone, we probably never would have thought to listen to an Over the Rhine album. Seeing them perform was seriously one of the coolest expereinces of my life. Had Grant never gone, it would never have happened.
I know I may sound crazy and I may be reading way too much into this whole thing, but seriously, be thankful for all the expereinces you have in your life. I really think that there is a reason why they happen. And it is really, really cool when you figure that out.
4.24.2005
Wedding nightmares.
I have had several of them. Last night I dreamed that it was not until after the ceromony was over that I realized the flowers had not been delivered. Then, it was not until after the reception was over that I realized that my future inlaws had not been there at all. When I asked Grant where they were, he told me that they had forgotten that they had already committed to going to a graduation party and just couldn't attend both. Next thing I know, Grant and I are at the graduation party and I confronted his parents about their decision. His mom's response was, "Well, we already RSVPed to this party and you know, he (the guy the graduation party was for) has always felt like a son to me."
Pretty funny. Luckily the only wedding nightmares I have experienced have been the ones that wake me up in the middle of the night.
Pretty funny. Luckily the only wedding nightmares I have experienced have been the ones that wake me up in the middle of the night.
4.03.2005
Why the groom is not involved in picking out the flowers.
Me: What do you want on the boutonnieres?
Grant: Flowers.
Me: Okay, but...
Grant: Or...mice.
Lovely.
Grant: Flowers.
Me: Okay, but...
Grant: Or...mice.
Lovely.
3.08.2005
Why didn't I think of this before?
Last night I got 8 hours of sleep. 8 full hours. And can I just say that this morning, I feel fabulous. I can't wait to go to bed at a decent hour tonight.
3.03.2005
Is it weird....
...that I am totally excited to have this:
"Hello, you have reached the desk of Heather Andersen etc, etc,"
I have a desk! It is inside a cubicle! And I like, decorated it, with pictures and stuff! And I get to wear clothes to work that are not riddled with tempura paint and "children stuff." I feel so grown-up!
"Hello, you have reached the desk of Heather Andersen etc, etc,"
I have a desk! It is inside a cubicle! And I like, decorated it, with pictures and stuff! And I get to wear clothes to work that are not riddled with tempura paint and "children stuff." I feel so grown-up!
2.27.2005
Goodbye
It was my last day of work on Friday and it was full of sad goodbyes and more tears than I ever thought I would shed. But, life goes on. The kids will be fine, I will be fine, everything will be fine. However, the kids did leave me with one final gift to remember them by....the flu. Yay!
2.23.2005
Conversations with Jessie
This afternoon...
Jessie: I need a drink. Oh wait...I can now!
Me: Nice.
Happy 21st birthday Jess.
Jessie: I need a drink. Oh wait...I can now!
Me: Nice.
Happy 21st birthday Jess.
2.21.2005
Drop whatever it is that you are doing...
...and go buy The Kite Runner. Amazing is all I need to say.
2.17.2005
Ouch.
I quit my job and my last day is the 25th. I start my new job on March 1st. I am excited, really excited. I am nervous, really nervous. I knew that I needed to change jobs, but I did not realize that it was going to be this hard. Especially after conversations like this:
Child 1: Why are you leaving us Miss Heather?
Me: Because I have to.
Child 2: But you are a teacher, and teachers are supposed to be with kids.
Me: I know, but I am not going to be a teacher anymore. I am going to do something different.
Child 3: But who is going to take care of us?
It was after that last question that I had to leave the table.
Child 1: Why are you leaving us Miss Heather?
Me: Because I have to.
Child 2: But you are a teacher, and teachers are supposed to be with kids.
Me: I know, but I am not going to be a teacher anymore. I am going to do something different.
Child 3: But who is going to take care of us?
It was after that last question that I had to leave the table.
2.15.2005
2.09.2005
Conversations with Jessie
Scene: Jessie has just told me a very long detailed story about how she got up really early this morning to get all dolled up for the boy who works at the coffee shop only to find out that upon her arrival, he was not in today. Action:
Jessie: My outfit was wasted!
Me: You will just have to go back tomorrow.
Jessie: Yeah. But now I need a new outfit and this one was the money outfit. I mean, anyone would have wanted to have me in this. Seriously.
My little sister ladies and gentlemen.
Jessie: My outfit was wasted!
Me: You will just have to go back tomorrow.
Jessie: Yeah. But now I need a new outfit and this one was the money outfit. I mean, anyone would have wanted to have me in this. Seriously.
My little sister ladies and gentlemen.
1.18.2005
12.15.2004
Heh?
What I thought I heard:
"It's a cow's weenie!"
What was actually said:
"Here's the cow, sweetie!"
"It's a cow's weenie!"
What was actually said:
"Here's the cow, sweetie!"
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