Laid out

I hurt my back a few days ago and I literally, despite the out-dated cliché, had fallen and I couldn't get up. Grant actually had to come home from work and pick my malfunctioning body up off the floor. What this has made me realize is how often you actually need the use of your back. To name just a few things, walking, standing, sitting, driving, coughing, using the ladies room and really just general moving, all pretty much require a functioning spine.

One other thing that is nearly impossible when you have back muscles that are on strike is laughing. This did not bode well for me when I had to have my sister drive me to my doctor appointment. The worst was when she made me laugh when only about half of my contorted body was flopped into the car. Despite the excruciating pain from the laughing, I couldn't stop myself when she starting singing "Inchworm, Inchworm" a la Danny Kaye from the Hans Christian Andersen Musical as I tried to finagle my uncooperative legs into the car. You probably had to be there, but the inflection in her voice was classic.

I could tell that Jessie felt bad, since I started screaming, and people were starting to stare and she said, "Okay, we're done now. How about I just turn on the radio and I won't speak anymore?" But then I had what I like to call "the church giggles." All it took was for me to make the slightest snort of a laugh and we both lost it again. Jessie yelled, "I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!!!"

And my response, amidst laughs and cries, went something like this: "I know...AHHH!!! But, OW!!! I am still thinking, OW!! About, AHHH! That damn, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! Inchworm song, OW! And damn you, AHHH!!! For being so funny!!!"

It was agony, hilarious agony.

Grant brought out the secret weapon...

And that weapon was? The shoes that are guaranteed to make to run faster, jump higher and rock harder.

P.F. Flyers.

I don't really know if it was the shoes, his incredible ability to perform under pressure as seen in this video, or that his newly acquired, perfectly coiffed facial hair was the source of all his powers, but whatever it was, it rocked the house down.



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Conversations with Jessie

Heather: What are you doing?
Jessie: Well, I just finished drinking a glass of unsweetened-not-from-concentrate-all-natural cranberry juice.
Heather: And?
Jessie: My bladder has never felt more fabulous.
Heather: Are you being serious, or are you just saying that?
Jessie: I am just saying it. But I am saying it because I have faith in my heart that because of this glass of juice, it will be so.

Little Sweet Pea

I love being an Auntie.

Happy Holidays

Hope y'all had a Merry Christmas



Love,

The Clashing Plaids.