Things that make the south different from California

1. People are nice: Ok, this is not to say that all Californians are mean because that would be entirely untrue. What I mean to say is, everyone is nice. Not once did we have an encounter with another human being that did not say, "How y'all doing" or something else southerny. Not to mention the eye contact. Take elevators for example. Californians don't typically speak in elevators. Elevators are moving machines that get us from point A to point B so we can get on with our very busy and important very day. It is not a place for chit chat. But in the Tennessee, quite the opposite.

2. People talk a lot: And s-l-o-w-l-y. About pretty much...whatever. I went into a boutique for example and in the course of 10 minutes I learned about how the owner of the business actually acquired the business. See, her daughter, now she went to school out in California and she lived real close to San Francisco. She went to school for art, you know, paintings and things. But when she was finished with that she decided to move home and open a shop. So she did. Now it had its ups and downs here and there, but she enjoyed it. But you see, she had been seeing this boy, her boyfriend I guess you could say for, well, oh about 3 years so they decided to go on a get married. So what does she do? Goes on and moves to Colorado! So she sold her business to her mom and well, the rest is history.

Blink...Blink.... "That's nice....."

I tell you, it is a nice change of pace, but it sure is enough to make a California girl a little uncomfortable.

3. Bathroom Attendants: I have no idea what to do with these. And P.S., what an awful job. Listening to bodily functions all day? Gross. But my biggest question is what the hell is the point? I really think I can figure out how to work the hand soap and get my own hand towel. Also, you are crazy if you think I am going to use any of the hairspray, lotion or lipstick you have laid out for me. I did not come to Tennessee to get a staff infection, thank you.

Our first night there, we ate at BB King's in Nashville. When we were done I had to use the facilities. I walked to the restroom and when I saw the bathroom attendant she was very polite and said "Hello" and I said "Hello" back. But really I was thinking, "Hi there, it is your job to sit here and listen to me pee!" After peeing, I went to wash my hands. This is when I was wildly power-squirted with hand soap from a spray bottle. The lady got me in a sneak attack from behind and I had no idea where the hell it was coming from, not to mention most of the soap got in the sink and on my arms. The woman is paid to perform one simple task. Unbelievable.

I finish washing my hands, (and arms apparently) and it is time to choose a towel. I have 2 choices, paper or cloth. My instinct goes for the paper. Wrong choice. I know this because the lady proceeds to SLAP ME ON THE ASS and tell me that she laid the cloth ones out special just for me. Needless to say, she did not get a tip, although she did ask for one. Classy.

4. Muggy as Hell: The humidity was shocking every time we walked out side. It was only in the 80's but you could feel the air surrounding your body it was so thick; it was like you were wearing an atmosphsere sweater that you couldn't take off. At one point Grant said, "I am hot inside my clothes." It was wrong.

We really did have a great time though, but I have to say, I am happy to be back in California where we don't talk to strangers, we keep our hands to our selevs and where 82 degrees doesn't feel like the seventh circle of hell.

p.s. Read about our food experiences here


Beale Street, Memphis TN.