Things that make the south different from California

1. People are nice: Ok, this is not to say that all Californians are mean because that would be entirely untrue. What I mean to say is, everyone is nice. Not once did we have an encounter with another human being that did not say, "How y'all doing" or something else southerny. Not to mention the eye contact. Take elevators for example. Californians don't typically speak in elevators. Elevators are moving machines that get us from point A to point B so we can get on with our very busy and important very day. It is not a place for chit chat. But in the Tennessee, quite the opposite.

2. People talk a lot: And s-l-o-w-l-y. About pretty much...whatever. I went into a boutique for example and in the course of 10 minutes I learned about how the owner of the business actually acquired the business. See, her daughter, now she went to school out in California and she lived real close to San Francisco. She went to school for art, you know, paintings and things. But when she was finished with that she decided to move home and open a shop. So she did. Now it had its ups and downs here and there, but she enjoyed it. But you see, she had been seeing this boy, her boyfriend I guess you could say for, well, oh about 3 years so they decided to go on a get married. So what does she do? Goes on and moves to Colorado! So she sold her business to her mom and well, the rest is history.

Blink...Blink.... "That's nice....."

I tell you, it is a nice change of pace, but it sure is enough to make a California girl a little uncomfortable.

3. Bathroom Attendants: I have no idea what to do with these. And P.S., what an awful job. Listening to bodily functions all day? Gross. But my biggest question is what the hell is the point? I really think I can figure out how to work the hand soap and get my own hand towel. Also, you are crazy if you think I am going to use any of the hairspray, lotion or lipstick you have laid out for me. I did not come to Tennessee to get a staff infection, thank you.

Our first night there, we ate at BB King's in Nashville. When we were done I had to use the facilities. I walked to the restroom and when I saw the bathroom attendant she was very polite and said "Hello" and I said "Hello" back. But really I was thinking, "Hi there, it is your job to sit here and listen to me pee!" After peeing, I went to wash my hands. This is when I was wildly power-squirted with hand soap from a spray bottle. The lady got me in a sneak attack from behind and I had no idea where the hell it was coming from, not to mention most of the soap got in the sink and on my arms. The woman is paid to perform one simple task. Unbelievable.

I finish washing my hands, (and arms apparently) and it is time to choose a towel. I have 2 choices, paper or cloth. My instinct goes for the paper. Wrong choice. I know this because the lady proceeds to SLAP ME ON THE ASS and tell me that she laid the cloth ones out special just for me. Needless to say, she did not get a tip, although she did ask for one. Classy.

4. Muggy as Hell: The humidity was shocking every time we walked out side. It was only in the 80's but you could feel the air surrounding your body it was so thick; it was like you were wearing an atmosphsere sweater that you couldn't take off. At one point Grant said, "I am hot inside my clothes." It was wrong.

We really did have a great time though, but I have to say, I am happy to be back in California where we don't talk to strangers, we keep our hands to our selevs and where 82 degrees doesn't feel like the seventh circle of hell.

p.s. Read about our food experiences here


Beale Street, Memphis TN.

Conversations with Jessie

I am a little jealous that I was not present for this conversation but still worth a mention.

(Scene: Jessie's response to seeing a little kid in public with a harness on)

Jessie: You know, I think if you can't keep your kids under control in public then you shouldn't take them in public.
Mom: Yeah....I put you on a leash.
Jessie: WHAT!?!?
Mom: Well, you just started walking and Heather was walking of course and you didn't want to be in the stroller anymore. You wanted to walk with her so I thought I would try it...it didn't last long I swear!
Jessie: Well did Heather have to be on a leash?
Mom: Yeah....no.

It is like a tiny little victory I never knew I wanted to win.

Two years...and change.

Today is our second wedding anniversary. I say wedding in that way because with Grant and me, the type of anniversary needs to be clarified.

See, first there is June 15, 1995. It was on this day that Grant asked me to be his girlfriend, in front of the band room. So romantic. He had a ring and everything. Granted, it was plastic and in the shape of a squirrel, but it was in a box at least!

This was a super secret anniversary for a while. We were not ready for our parents to know about our love! However, it was a little hard to keep it a secret considering that neither of us drove and a boy who is "just friends" with a girl does not often agree, with little to no complaining, to going to see a romantic comedy unless there is some sort of guarantee that the girl he is with will be making out with him for some portion of the flick. So I think they were onto us. One thing I have actually learned since then: parents are smart. Anyway, this past June, if you were counting from the first time, we have been together for 12 years.

After the great breakup of 1996, due to a flood of raging hormones and melodramatic emotional outbursts, we got back together on January 1, 1998. That time, although he kissed me first, I did the asking out, making this past January mark 10 years.

I don't know what I would have said in 1995 if someone told me what would happen to me on October 1, 2005. I probably would have turned red in the face, giggled and said I didn't believe it. However, part of me wants to believe that all I would have said was "I know." So today makes 2 years, but really I look at it as nearly half my life. We literally watched each other grow up.

It started here...


then here...


and again here...


until finally we made it here:


We have been though a lot together; life and loss. More things in fact, than I thought I would ever have to experience. But I am glad all the things I have been through over the past 12, 10 and 2 years, good and bad, have been with Grant. And despite all of the imperfections and flaws that we have discovered about each other, and many times overcame together, we have always loved each other unconditionally through it all.

Well...almost all of it.