If I were a superhero, I would certainly wear tights

As a super hero, of course I would wear tights. But only when appropriate of course. I mean, never with a flip-flop or an open toed sandal. And this is why I would be Heather "The Croc Killer." My basic duties would be to rid the world of all offensive shoe choices, mainly Crocs. The worst of all the shoes, in my opinion. I mean, they have holes in them and are made of foam for God's sake!!! I would, for the most part, be a helpful superhero. For minor shoe offenses my friends and foes would get a second chance to maybe replace the worn out loafer with a sassy wedge or pointy-toed kitten heal. They would be given the option to simply remove their socks if they insisted on wearing their Tevas. And of course, octogenarians would be given a free pass if wearing navy or beige Sas brand shoes. However, there would be no exceptions for Croc-wearers. Anyone found breaking this fashion rule who is not and never has been Mario Batali: instant obliteration.