Oooo that feels good!

My attitude going into this "Professional Development" class that I am taking was very different from the attitudes I have had about school in the past. I went into it thinking, "I don't care about this class; as long as I pass I will be happy." But, I guess for those of you who know me, this of course was not the case. On the very first day I caught it...the school bug. It is a sickness that makes me act like the best is never good enough. I would not call it contagious...repulsive is probably a better word. What can I say, I LOVE to get A's. So this class that I was "not going to give a crap about" turned into almost every other class I have had all my life. But luckily, it was a fairly easy class and I thank God for the BA in child development that I have already earned. I finished my final tonight and it was very fulfilling. I felt like I really accomplished something and it felt really good.

Then I thought, how sad. I should, at least I think I should, be accomplishing something every day. I am teaching the young children of America, low income children no less. I am hopefully increasing the likelihood that they will do better in kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school and beyond. But because somebody doesn't give me an "A" at the end of each day I don't feel a sense of accomplishment?

I know it doesn't make sense. But even though I am fully aware, I am still praying that I receive no less than an A- on the final I just finished and will be handing in tomorrow. I want to know so badly that I am providing my professor with a self-addressed stamped envelope to get it back as soon as it is graded. And for my sake, and for the sake of my loved ones, it better be an "A"

I know, there is something seriously wrong with me.