Just to clarify...

To the five of you that read my website (and when I say five, I know in reality it is only three...give or take) please don't think that I will no longer answer your questions or engage in friendly conversations where questions may be asked of me. Don't let my frustration mislead you. Please keep talking to me!

And so it begins...

Now that both Grant and I have graduated college, I have heard this question approximatly 14 million times: "So, when are you guys getting married?" And its variation 4 million times: "When's the wedding?"

Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but the questions have caused me to begin to stress out about an engagment that has not even happened yet. And yes Grant, I know that most of that stress is caused by my own stressful personality. However, my point is that I love talking about my future plans with Grant but starting right now, I am not going to worry about it until something actually happens!

In high school it was, "Where do you want to go to college?"
In community college it was "So where do you really want to go to college"
At four year it was "What's your major?" then, "So what do you want to, like, do after graduation?"
At graduation it is "Have you found a job?"
And now the marriage question! Will it ever end? Probably not.

No fun

Please think good thoughts for my mom tonight! Hopefully, she at least gets some restful, painless sleep after her surgery!!!

Conversations with Jessie

Re: The "flower guy" from the market

Jessie: This guy has the calves of a god.
Heather: Hmm....really?
Jessie: I mean, I have never been this sexually attracted to calf muscles in my entire life.

a little while later...

Jessie: I wonder if he would just let me stroke them?

Oh boy.

The whole time I was in Las Vegas, my friends kept saying things like, " I never want this trip to be over because then I will have to go back to reality!" By reality, they all meant etiher school or work. I would always respond with a deep breath, a shrug of my shoulders and an equally dissapointed "I know, that sucks!" It wasn't until about the fifth time I responded that way that I realized that my "reality" as they were refering to it, hasn't formed yet. As of right now, I no longer have to go to school, I have no job and the amount of time left on my health insurance coverage is rapidly diminishing. What these three things mean is that I have to grow up. I should be so ready for this. I mean I have been preparing for this day for the past 17 years. But as stupid as it sounds, the other day I was freaking out because I had no book I had to read, I had nothing to study and no papers to write. And I felt like that was a bad thing. So while Grant was at school all day yesterday, I wrote a complaint letter to Barnes & Noble Booksellers regarding an inappropriate display located in the children's section of the store, just so I could have that samefeeling of accomplishment after completing an assignment. I got so excited that about the letter and I was thinking about the different studies and Child Development gurus I could sight in my letter to prove to the management at the book store that I had earned my degree. I was really dissapointed when I realized that all the text books I did decided to save were at home rather than readily available for me to read once again. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I doing this? Why do I want to know what grade I would have recieved had this letter actually been an assignment?

I guess what I am trying to say is the same thing I have been saying all along. School is something that has not just been a part of my life. Rather, being in school has been part of me, part of what I know and what I view as my reality for the past 17 years of my life. Being a student is all I know. In the past, when I was not in school I was on a break and the end of that break always meant school would start again. Well come September, I will not be attending any more classes. I am sure that many students goes through some similar kind of emotion and my realizations may seem just as dramatic and over analyzed as next graduate and after this I promise to stop talking about it. But I can't help feeling sad that school is over; it's like that part of Heather is over. I think I am really going to miss that part.

You know, I am all for gender equity, but let me be the first to say that it pays to be a group of four girls in Las Vegas!