So how was your day?

All I wanted to do was wear my pearls to work today. I don't know, I was feeling fancy I guess. Twenty minutes before I needed to leave (which is usually my coffee and couple minutes of a morning news program time) I went go to put the pearls on. Except that they are not there. So my last twenty minutes before heading to work were spent looking for the missing pearls.

I hate when I lose things. I mean, I can't think of anyone who enjoys losing their valuables but when I lose things like that I tend to panic and obsess about it until I am ill. My husband is a very patient man.

So I leave for work, thinking only about the pearls that I must have thrown away or accidentally donated to charity. I mean, I was not able to locate them in twenty minutes so the only logical explanation is they are gone forever.

Then I was almost hit by a bus. Excellent.

The work day seemed to go ok. Surprisingly, nothing terrible happened. Nothing seemed to be missing. This is shocking to me considering at this point I am pretty sure that the pearls are actually out to get me and intended to ruin my day. But before it would be time to search for the missing necklace again, I would be going to yoga. Calm, relaxing yoga. So I drive from home to pick up my mom, then on to class. As we pull into the parking lot of class I realize, I do not have my yoga mat. Ok, now I am about to drive myself into a bus. What the hell.

Now I am even more determined to find the pearls that I have convinced myself are living in a landfill somewhere. When I am trying to find something that I have lost, I am truly in rare form. If you are ever around I would recommend protecting your face and to watch for flying objects. I seem to turn into...well, I honestly don't know if it is Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Whoever the psycho one is.

No luck. I went through my purses, jewelry boxes, backpacks, cabinets and attempted to move furniture. I even tried to conjure the spirit of my great-grandmother, may she rest in peace, to tell me where they were.

By the time Grant came home, I was too exhausted to think straight. He went through a list of places I had already looked two and then three times. And just about as quickly as he said that he was sure it was not donated and would eventually turn up, I heard him say, "Honey. it is right here." Here was on the floor between the wall and dresser with just the little gold clasp poking out. This was about the time I broke down. Grant just hugged me and asked, "Are you just glad that you found your pearls?" To which I responded between sniffles, "I was almost hit by a bus today." Honestly, at that point, I am not sure if I was speaking literally or metaphorically.

It would mean having to live in my brother-in-law's attic....

I am watching Full House and it is the one where Uncle Jesse gets a record deal and Jesse and the Rippers are going to go on tour but at the same time Rebecca finds out she is going to have a baby and she just doesn't know how she is going to tell him. Getting a record deal would be the chance of a lifetime for Jesse and the Rippers. I mean, they had always planned on starting a family but not for a couple of years! And before you know it, the entire family knows about the baby. Everyone but Jesse that is. And that little Michelle just has the hardest time keeping a secret! Oh, the conflict! But when she tells him in that riveting game of Win, Lose or Draw (Cheese, 1/2, ink = she's having. What a hoot!) she realizes that although Uncle Jesse is nervous about the change he excited at the same time and ready to be a father and she had nothing to worry about all along. Sigh....

As I watched this episode the other day I asked myself two questions:

1. Why the hell am I watching Full House right now?

2. Why am I getting emotional over Uncle Jesse and Rebecca's unborn baby?

As soon as the famous "tender moment" Full House music started to play, my eyes started to well up. Well, Rebecca is married to a rock star and she gets to have a baby! I was actually jealous of and yearned for that moment on the cheesiest sitcom that ever was and that ever will be, so much so, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I thought to myself, I want that!

Oh man. Maybe I should get a puppy.

Great Weekend

This weekend was one of the best. It started with seeing one of my best friends rock the mic like a vandal (quite literally) with his band Shayna and the Bulldog. It was good food, good drinks and great music.

And then, I got to spend the day with three of my favorite people, Brittaney and my nieces. It is so amazing to see brand new babies looking at the world around them. Everything is new and exciting. They are enthralled by things as simple as ceiling lights and are now at the point where they will stare at your face, as if they are studying every detail.

I am so lucky to be apart of these new experiences. For example, when Brittaney, the girls and I went shopping on Sunday, I was honored to be able to say to them, "Ladies, this is the Nordstrom shoe department. You must treat it with respect and honor and you will grow to love it."

Rescinded.

Fine! So I left out a few details. What's the big deal? Apparently my husband states that this was the "real" conversation we had.

Admittedly, I was sore and did not take any medication to help fix that problem. Which is exactly why I was asking for a massage! Hello...

And I guess he used the word "silly" and not "annoying" to describe my behavior. Well, silly may have been what was said but the non-verbal cues were screaming annoying!

It went something like this...

I am not feeling well and I just wanted Grant to rub my back before bed. Is that too much to ask?

Heather: Can you just rub my back? I am so sore.
Grant: Not tonight. I have a headache and I just want to go to bed.
Heather: Please. I am sick. (I'll admit, there was a little whinning)
Grant: You are so annoying about these things sometimes. And you have not emptied the lint trap in the dryer for like, three loads. It was like I pulled a sweater out of there the today.
Heather: What?
Grant: Sorry. I just thought of that right now.

1....2....47.

I have a new goal or myself. I will do 47 crunchs a day. I was going to set an arbitrary number but I figured that might be to lofty of a goal. Instead, the other day I decided to do as many crunches as I could. That number, 47. I know it doesn't seem like much, but now I know that I can do at least that many.

I have other things I plan on accomplishing in 2007. One of which is to find the perfect lip color and to not be afraid of a little bling.

Christmas 2006

We arrived at my aunt and uncle's lovely little cabin in the woods of Plain, Washington on Christmas Day. It was beautifully covered in snow. The landscape made it difficult to realize how cold it was outside but it was cold. None of that mattered since the cabin was powered by a nice electric central heating system. But see, the thing is an electric heater (and stove, water pump, fire place fan, hair straightener, blow dryer, blender...all the essentials) will only work if there is this fancy little thing called electricity.

See, it was really uncalled for when those trees fell on those power lines because it was right at the part in the movie when Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby had just gotten to Vermont and they were bringing the whole show up three days before Christmas to try to save the lodge from going under. And you know what? It is just not Christmas until I can hear those crazy cats sing, "Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army."

Well, the movie we had not, but a White Christmas, yes. It continued to snow and get colder. And an electric water pump meant no showers...or flush toilets. Yay! We all survived the first night and the next morning, still nothing. We drove into Leavenworth, which is a little Bavarian town with all the schnitzel and bratwurst you could ever ask for. We ate breakfast and shopped, but more importantly used every working toilet in the town.

Driving back to the cabin we had high hopes as we saw the Plain Valley lit up and beautiful. Not so much. Still no power at the cabin. It was night time again and it was getting colder.



Family meeting time! Frustrations were high at this point and there are really only so many "Donner Party" jokes that can be made before they all start to sound the same. And lets face it, there would be no drawing straws; the weakest were going to be the first to go.

Our choices were the following:
1. Brave the night. Load up on layers of PJ's and blankets and if there was no power by morning, pack up and leave.
2. Pack up the house and the cars in the dark in 12-degree weather and leave that night.
3. Make more Donner Party jokes.

Everyone was silent. We all looked at each other, huddled around the candlelit table staring at the bags of pretzels and beef jerky we would be eating for dinner. And to everyone's surprise, Grandma, (who was bundled up and looked like the little brother from a Christmas Story at this point) said with passion, "I say we stay!"

So we stayed. And we ate pretzels and beef jerky for dinner. We played Scattergories by candle light. We drank very, very cold wine and beer. We made more Donner Party jokes. It was the best.

And after 30 hours (give or take) we had power again.

I am sure as we re-tell this story as the years go on it will get a little more exaggerated and sound more like we were not just at a cold cabin on Christmas but in the seventh circle of hell. Obviously, we were all fine and we were not in any real danger. One thing I did think about as we were sitting in the dark with blankets wrapped around us was at least we were inside with a roof over our heads and that we had blankets to keep us warm and food and family around us. And when this is all over, we have a home to go to and this trip will be just another funny story to add the the vault and it is not really my life.

I am thankful for that...and that we didn't have to eat Grandma.

A little late but....

Christmas was an adventure this year. More to come later. As for now....

Merry Christmas from the Shellens!



(The giant, red Christmas balls you see in the background are courtesy of my dear friend Joel. He thought they would enhance the tree.)