If I could time travel, I'd go to 1955

We recently started watching Mad Men on DVD. Based on what I have seen, I don't really know why I would want to revisit this era as a woman. What traveling to this time means is that one, I will be a chain smoker. Additionally, I will either be a secretary who is sleeping with a married man (aka: my boss) or I am covering his tracks of infidelity from his wife. Or, the best of all I am married to an unfaithful husband while I stay home and take care of the kids. Did I mention I probably have a drinking problem too. Also the food looks terrible. What is up with suspending everything in jello and putting canned pineapple on canned ham, anyway? Blech.



So why do I want to go back to the 50's? 4 words: Awesome hair. Awesome clothes.



I'll deal with the sexism and a little lung cancer.

Conversations with Jessie

(Regarding the Tamarin Monkey we were looking at, at the Oakland Zoo)

Heather: And there are people out there that seriously don't think that we evolved from primates.
Jessie: I know, right?
Heather: I mean, look at that face. It is like a mini human face.
Jessie: And that is pretty much what I look like most Saturday mornings.

'Tis better to be a wuss and not decide.

"And this, boys and girls, is why Heather drinks wine."



Better to have loved and lost? Well this seems like the obvious "right" answer. The problem with me is that I hate the "lost" part. In fact, I wish the sentance read, "Tis better to have loved." The End. No lost. Nothing gets taken away. How about that?



The thing is I know me, and although I don't like to speak in absolutes, I feel like I really can't recover when this mean old "lost" thing happens. So maybe ignorance really is bliss. Because maybe the pain, sadness, and anger you feel about the loss is not worth the few moments of love you felt in the first place? For me it wasn't. So that begs, the question: What do I do now? Give up? Risk feeling like the shittiest if the shit again. Or worse? Spend the rest of my life wondering, "what if" all because I did give up and didn't take another risk just to protect my sanity?



You see, to me it is a vicious cycle that I feel like I am stuck on and frankly I am about ready to get off this ride.

I like to relax with acupuncture

Acupuncture Barbie

There are many things I do to relax really. Probably because so much of my life feels like I am constantly struggling to achieve a state of relaxation and less worry.



Cooking is a good technique. The prep work involved is very soothing to me.



I don't clean to relax. This really is a double edged sword though, because a lot of times the stress is amplified by the fact that my house is a mess. So instead of picking up a broom, I watch ridiculous reality TV which makes me realize that my life is not nearly as bad as any of those people. So what if I haven't folded the laundry! Heidi just married an abuser! And don't even get me started on Jon and Kate Plus 8!



Lately however, I have been using acupuncture as a means to relax. I should start by saying the lady I go to is crazy. She is very difficult to understand do the language barrier. (That is not what makes her crazy, by the way). What does make her crazy is that she talks CONSTANTLY. She leaves me be once all the needles are placed but before and after that it is one strange story after another. For example, she has told me EVERY TIME I HAVE GONE TO SEE HER that her husband "played around with other women." So they are divorced. She has repeatedly tried to get me to go to her church, specifically so I can talk to this one lady, "Monica" who is "white like me, the same culture, so she will understand what I am going through."



And the list goes on. So why do I keep going to her? Well I am trying to keep an open mind. Supposedly, she works wonders. (So she says). And quite honestly, when I am in the room alone, albeit covered in needles, I can really clear my head and just be. Also she gives an awesome acupressure massage which is an added bonus.



When I was telling a friend of mine about my adventures at acupuncture she did call me out though. She said, "Admit it Heather. Now you are just going to for more stories for your book."



She's probably right.