I have to admit that I like the feeling I get when I am recieving applause. I have been sining in choirs and/or solo for the past 8 years or so and I have yet to get tired of the sound of a happy and appreciative audience at the end of a performance. Now that I have graduated and gotten a real job, I am no longer singing in a choir. Sure, I sing at church on the Sundays that I am around and sometimes the congregation with clap for me at the end of mass, but it is a rarity. I mean, church really is not supposed to be a show. Latley I have been thinking...will I ever find myself on stage in a choir or soo performance again? At this point I don't know. Will I ever get that rush again?

Today I did. Granted it was not a performance hall, it was my classroom. And it was not an audience of hundreds, rather a handful of three and four-year-olds. But today, they gave me the best round of applause I have ever been given. During circle time, I brought out my special book that was given to me by my darling nephews, "I don't want to live on the moon." (the popular sesame street hit, performed by Ernie). After sining the song, the sound of all 12 sets of hands erupted into applause that was totally child initiated!! They really liked me! After the clapping died down one little boy said "Teacher Heather, you are so pretty when you sing for us." I had to hold back a tear or two.

Can I have the veggie burger...with ham please?

Email from Jessie: recived 8/15/03

Subject: guess what I did

(my first thought..."oh my god! She got a tattoo!")

Nope, not exactly....

" I ATE HAM!!! ahhhhhhh! oh so good! ooooooohhhhhhhhyea"
j

A rather interesting form of vegitarianism.

In other news...

The latest name I was called at school instead of "Teacher Heather" was "Teacher Venus." Kinda sexy huh!

Who again?

So I started my job and I am really enjoying it; I have no huge complaints to date. Well, I have one I guess. They can't remember my name. All the kids except for a handful, only call me "Teacher" or "Hey Teacher." Now, I am not going to get into now, but I alrady have my issues with the title of "Teacher (fill in the blank)" and I find it must more appropriate and respectful to be refered to as "Miss (fill in the blank). However, my kids do not fill in the blank and as previously stated, I am left simply nameless. So I have been trying to teach them by asking "Teacher who? What is my name?" or "My name is not Hey, it is Heather, Teacher Heather." That is when I get the variations of my name. For example, one little girl call me "Teacher Feather." Then there is the ever popular "Teacher Hedder." (That "th" sound is a real bitch). And probably my least favorite of them all "Teacher Heifer" (thanks a lot kid).

So finally today, after 15 children came up to me screaming "Hey Teacher! Hey Teacher!" I said, "That is not my name. Who here can tell me what my name is?" And one proud little girls yelled "I know! I know! Teacher Lily!" Come to find out "Teacher Lily" was there subsitute teacher for one week several months ago! What the hell? But I am trying to keep it positive; at least it is a name not another synonym for a cow.

Our Lady Thatcher

My sister Jessie, Me and Maggie June 1990. More photos here.

I remember the way she smelled
When we first brought her home.
She smelled like a dog,
But it was a good smell.
It was that distinct puppy smell.

She had this run that we called
a "Maggie run." What made her do it?
Who knows...but I think she can finally do them again.
I think she was ready to do them again.

She didn't bark, she didn't bite.
She only loved us.
And everyone who knew her loved her too.
"Can I just have a dog like Maggie?"
people would ask.

She will always be remembered.
She will always be loved.
She will always live within us.
And, when it is our time,
She will come when we call.

Maggie
April 17, 1990 to August 4, 2003

Happily doing Maggie runs in heaven.

July 30....

...and on the 28th was my first day of work. More to come!

July 20....

....and still no job. Excellent.

July 10.....


...and still no job. Excellent.

Just to clarify...

To the five of you that read my website (and when I say five, I know in reality it is only three...give or take) please don't think that I will no longer answer your questions or engage in friendly conversations where questions may be asked of me. Don't let my frustration mislead you. Please keep talking to me!

And so it begins...

Now that both Grant and I have graduated college, I have heard this question approximatly 14 million times: "So, when are you guys getting married?" And its variation 4 million times: "When's the wedding?"

Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but the questions have caused me to begin to stress out about an engagment that has not even happened yet. And yes Grant, I know that most of that stress is caused by my own stressful personality. However, my point is that I love talking about my future plans with Grant but starting right now, I am not going to worry about it until something actually happens!

In high school it was, "Where do you want to go to college?"
In community college it was "So where do you really want to go to college"
At four year it was "What's your major?" then, "So what do you want to, like, do after graduation?"
At graduation it is "Have you found a job?"
And now the marriage question! Will it ever end? Probably not.

No fun

Please think good thoughts for my mom tonight! Hopefully, she at least gets some restful, painless sleep after her surgery!!!

Conversations with Jessie

Re: The "flower guy" from the market

Jessie: This guy has the calves of a god.
Heather: Hmm....really?
Jessie: I mean, I have never been this sexually attracted to calf muscles in my entire life.

a little while later...

Jessie: I wonder if he would just let me stroke them?

Oh boy.

The whole time I was in Las Vegas, my friends kept saying things like, " I never want this trip to be over because then I will have to go back to reality!" By reality, they all meant etiher school or work. I would always respond with a deep breath, a shrug of my shoulders and an equally dissapointed "I know, that sucks!" It wasn't until about the fifth time I responded that way that I realized that my "reality" as they were refering to it, hasn't formed yet. As of right now, I no longer have to go to school, I have no job and the amount of time left on my health insurance coverage is rapidly diminishing. What these three things mean is that I have to grow up. I should be so ready for this. I mean I have been preparing for this day for the past 17 years. But as stupid as it sounds, the other day I was freaking out because I had no book I had to read, I had nothing to study and no papers to write. And I felt like that was a bad thing. So while Grant was at school all day yesterday, I wrote a complaint letter to Barnes & Noble Booksellers regarding an inappropriate display located in the children's section of the store, just so I could have that samefeeling of accomplishment after completing an assignment. I got so excited that about the letter and I was thinking about the different studies and Child Development gurus I could sight in my letter to prove to the management at the book store that I had earned my degree. I was really dissapointed when I realized that all the text books I did decided to save were at home rather than readily available for me to read once again. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I doing this? Why do I want to know what grade I would have recieved had this letter actually been an assignment?

I guess what I am trying to say is the same thing I have been saying all along. School is something that has not just been a part of my life. Rather, being in school has been part of me, part of what I know and what I view as my reality for the past 17 years of my life. Being a student is all I know. In the past, when I was not in school I was on a break and the end of that break always meant school would start again. Well come September, I will not be attending any more classes. I am sure that many students goes through some similar kind of emotion and my realizations may seem just as dramatic and over analyzed as next graduate and after this I promise to stop talking about it. But I can't help feeling sad that school is over; it's like that part of Heather is over. I think I am really going to miss that part.

You know, I am all for gender equity, but let me be the first to say that it pays to be a group of four girls in Las Vegas!

Sorry this took so long...

Goodbye Sutter Hall and the other four dorms.
Goodbye Child Development office.
Goodbye Brighten and Eureka Hall.
Goodbye chickens.
Goodbye Emerald Place.
Goodbye Mandangos and Stingers.
Goodbye University Union.
Goodbye roomies.
Goodbye Arco Arena and the Sacramento Kings.
Goodbye specifically to Jim Jackson of the Kings (yum.)
Goodbye admissions and records.
Goodbye thursday night must see tv in Davis.
Goodbye Dale Shornack.
Goodbye inefficient parking structures.
Goodbye tower cafe.
Goodbye old town.
Goodbye Captial Building.
Goodbye Sacramento...Hello future.

Right now I have too much on my plate but I am not very hungry. I am looking down and the piles of paper and crap that needs to be sorted through and the things that still need to be packed and the online final that needs to be finished and all I am doing is looking at it. Guess I can see that the end is near, nearer than it has ever been before. All this stuff that I have to do is just making me even closer to being "done." Maybe that is why I am avoiding my responsibilities right now. Because the end is not really the end, it is a huge beginning. And there are no sure things in this beginning. As exciting as it all is, it is twice as scary. School is safe and May 25th is unsure at this point. I never thought I would feel like this...it is a weird feeling. Exciting, but weird.

Holy Graduation Batman!

12 days baby....12 days.

Happiness is...

...one more week of classes left. Or, maybe it is sadness. I haven't figured it out yet.

You know spring has sprung...

...when the roosters at Sac State start gettin' horny.

A Nice and Not-so-Nice day

Nice: Having a stranger say "Bless you" after you have just sneezed.
Not-so-Nice: Having a nasty head cold.

Nice: Going to the the last meeting of a class for the entire semester which places you one step closer to graudation.
Not-so-Nice: Having that last class be choir and realizing that may have been the last chior you will ever sing in.

Nice: Realizing you don't have to rush around all day anymore.
Not-so-Nice: Realizing you don't have to rush around all day anymore because it was also your last day of volunteering, something you really enjoyed.

Nice: Your car starting today without a problem.
Not-so-Nice: Rememebering how expensive it was to accomplish that.

Nice: Just a little over two more weeks to go.
Not-so-Nice: Realizing that it is already time to start saying goodbye.

Let's hope for all "nice" tomorrow.

Who Again?

A few weeks ago, while Grant and I were have some having some good clean fun with Jason and Allie, there was a slight misunderstanding during a conversation. We were actually on our way to mass on Good Friday. However, once we arrived at the church it became very clear that when we did find parking (which seemed very unlikely) there was going to be no chance that we would have ever found a place to sit, let alone a place to stand within the church. After Jason made the executive decision to continue driving rather than look for parking, this conversation ensued:

Allison: I guess we will just have to go to Cold Stone instead.
Heather: Did you just say, "Joey Fatone"?
Allison: What?!?! No!! I said Cold Stone.
Heather:Oh. Riiight.

So yesterday, Grant and I had a very similar conversation:

Heather: Oh, Honey! Last night at the Kings game, some guy proposed to his girl friend, well now I guess, his fiancé. Isn't that cute?
Grant: Who did?
Heather: I don't know, some guy at the Kings game, proposed to his fiancé.
Grant:Beyonce?
Heather: Huh?
Grant: Beyonce Knowles?
Heather: What the hell are you saying right now?
Grant: Someone proposed to her?
Heather: What? No! Fiancé! Fee-ahn-say!

I think we all know the lesson there is to be learned from all this...remember to clean out your ears.